sorrows~~

Can we actually know the way to read others’ minds? I would like to learn to read others’ minds. Perhaps by reading their mind, I won’t be in such a miserable life right now. Perhaps when I can read, when I know more, I might get into worse situation? Do all girls think too much like me? Am I thinking too much or is this normal for a girl? OMG! I think I’m asking too much! I’m still stuck in my Mid Semester Examination. I’ll be having my last paper on Forensic Studies tomorrow morning though and yet I still have time here blogging! Great huh?! Sighs…

There are so many things running in my mind: studies, families, relationship, house shifting, laptop problems and many others! My oh my~~~ can someone please share my burdens with me? Even though they are not heavy burden but I would like to have someone to share them with me =) I think I’m a simple girl. I can get happy very easily; also can be sad very easily. Small stuffs tend to disturb me a lot and because of that, I’ll always why, why, why! Many said I’m complicated. How complicated can I be? I really got no idea. Friends, I think you know me more than myself.

I didn’t study hard enough this semester. I’ve been wasting a lot of my precious time. I said wasting, so I really didn’t know how I wasted them =( Examination for the past week wasn’t really good. I didn’t prepare well for most papers, including today’s Surgery test. See I’m sitting here in front of this screen, typing words, not studying for tomorrow’s test! What can I do? I just can’t concentrate for studies this time. I must really work harder after this exam for my Finals. I can’t fail. I want to graduate earlier to leave this place. Say NO to stay here longer!

I’ll be shifting very soon. 3^rd April, I’ll be shifting and I still haven’t got my things packed. I’ve contacted a few lorry drivers. I don’t know what I call them, to help us shift stuff, by renting their lorry. The prices I asked were quite expensive. Luckily the number Joanne got from Fahimah gave us cheap price but we had not confirmed with that guy about the day we’re shifting. Kelvin told me he can help by using his dad’s car but I think I must confirm with him again if his dad is using that car. I felt I’ve asked too much help from his family. I’m relying on them too much! That’s bad. But many told me that I deserved it because I’m his girlfriend, he should help. I’m not sure about that, I’m afraid others might think I’m with him because I’m using him. I didn’t want that to happen.

The day I’ve been waiting for had finally over. 28^th of March, my first anniversary with Kelvin, I was so worried he would forget the day. He promised to celebrate it with me and I told him I won’t be reminding him so yea, I didn’t remind him and he remembered! I’m happy really! When he called to ask me out for dinner that evening I was so happy I wanted to jump. Alright, you must think I’m crazy. Whatever! So we went out for dinner and… nothing much~~ and it ended up with what I didn’t want to happen. It was a good night at first but not at the end. I’m not sure where the problem is. Perhaps it is me again? Perhaps I don’t trust him enough?

Thanks to this friend of mine who at least still cares for me. I thought this blog would be very long but after chatting with him, I felt a lot better, even though I’m still not sure what is the best solution right now. At least, I feel better =)

a good friend of mine~

I was trying so hard to get my close friend back but too bad he declared to me, he admitted that he is avoiding me all these while and the reason he gave was because he is fear of the feeling might be back again. I wasn’t happy when he told me he is not following my blog anymore. When he told me about it, it somehow made me feel he got no more feelings for me. He really let go of our past. Yea, I should say it is a good thing but I don’t feel easy knowing he doesn’t care even a bit about me anymore. He is a very nice guy I used to like him. In fact, to be honest, I was considering about him because he is really a very nice guy to me. After chatted with him about our past, we had concluded this. We can’t be together because he tried stepping into my life at the wrong time.

My blog is inactive at most time due to the hectic life I’m leading right now. I have no time for my blog. I have no time to share here but I got a habit. When I’m sad, when I’m angry, I’ll type. I used to tell my stories to my best friends last time but now that I’m not in Malaysia, it is difficult. That’s why I started to write a lot. Writing made me feel better at times. It feels like I’ve shared with somebody though I don’t know who the reader is. It was quite surprising that day after I posted my last blog, I received a comment from him telling me to delete off the link to my blog from my Facebook profile since my blog is dead most of the time. Does this mean he is actually still following my blog?

From his personal message in MSN, I think he is facing some problem. Deep in my heart, I knew he won’t share any of his problems with me anymore. I still tried asking him just now. I asked him via MSN chat. He didn’t really told me what is happening as predicted. He told me he has a best friend now. I’m happy for him. At least I know there is a person here, away from our hometown, who still can share his problems with him, reducing his stress. Studying here can be very stressful at times. I’m not sure if he will be reading this post. Here, I wish he’ll lead a better, stress-free life. Care not about the rumours around you ya buddy! Like I told you, people tend to be tired when they see no response or any further progress about the shits they’re spreading. Don’t worry, be happy =)

SPONSORS should be APPRECIATED in the right way

I just gave ZW some scolding because Uncle Jacky had sponsored MCCC Rp. 700.000 for the Auspicious Dinner. BUT what did he get in return? He got nothing! His name wasn’t written in the booklet. His name card was given, telling them to make advertisement in MCCC website but what did he get? Till now, there is nothing in that page of the site! One of the committees in the club gave me reasons saying they’re waiting for Seoul Garden’s sponsor but they FORGOT. They’re so careless they forgot I’m one of the members in MCCC. MCCC will most probably be closed down in July because we’re short of members. Do you think they will still advertise these companies when there is no more MCCC? If you say yes, you’re lying! If the members or the committees say YES, they’re BULLSHITTING! As for the figures of the generous men sponsored being typed wrongly in the booklet, they gave reason saying they were careless they typed wrongly. I was wondering, hasn’t you have another second or third person have the booklet checked before you print them out and be distributed to others in during the dinner? Many names were not written in the booklet as appreciation while some others were written more than the amount they gave. I think this is not fair for the other sponsors.

I don’t like it knowing they’re cheating money for the club this way. What benefit did I get from this club by helping the club getting sponsors? What benefits did the members get? To be frank, I didn’t really ask for benefits myself but it made me feel that they’re using money for themselves which is a wrong thing to do! Supposed, they can’t sponsor members for other dinners this way like what they’re doing because not all members will attend the dinners so it’ll be unfair for those who were not sponsored. Perhaps, the committees might say they open the seats for the members. Those who couldn’t come or didn’t want to attend were telling they have financial problems. BUT ask yourselves, committees! Are the seats opened enough for all members? What if all members want to attend the dinners since the club is paying half of the price? I know, you’ll tell us, seats are limited so first come first serve. Well, another question! When you say first come first serve, why not you announce these offers in a meeting with all members? See, it is always that few people attending and those few people are those who knew the news first! Is this fair for other members? I know nothing is fair in this world but PLEASE don’t make it like you people organized and managed the club well.

I’m sorry I really can’t hold my anger when you gave me reasons and excuses on why the advertisement for the company at the site is not up yet. Perhaps, you’re joking with me. I’m too sensitive. I apologized but again, I still think it is so irresponsible to take others’ money, delay your work, thinking the sponsor won’t check about it. Perhaps, the sponsors really don’t mind about these but think about it. What is the difference between cheating others’ money with what the committees are doing right now? And see… these committees are doctors and dentists-to-be.

Once again, like I've said in my profile description, this is my blog, you don't like it, there's a cross button on the right corner of your screen, click it and you'll leave this page. For the committees who read this coincidence-ly, I apologized for the harsh words I used. This is where I'm sharing my thoughts. Like me, hate me, I don't care.