Have you ever thought about your dreams? Do you remember your dreams? Have you ever felt that you don’t want to wake up because the dream is so wonderful, it makes you smile when you’re sleeping? Or do you have nightmares more than sweet dreams? Perhaps you never dreamt? Since young, all these dreams made my curiosity grew higher every time I have a new dream during my sleep. I always thought of the reason on why do we dream while we’re sleeping? What is the meaning behind the dreams? How does this dreaming process happen? When will it happen again? Why don’t we have dream every time we sleep? There are many more questions bothering me when it comes to DREAM.
I once came across to an article about dreams, about 5 to 6 years back. It is a very interesting article explaining on the reason behind the dreams but I can’t remember much about the whole thing since I read it so long ago. I only remembered it said IF we dreamt about something is chasing us, no matter it is an animal or what so ever, as long as there is something chasing us which made us run in the dream, it shows that WE are having problems in our daily life. Many unsolved problems which stressed us out, that are why we have dreams like that. Besides, the article also stated that IF we moved physically when we’re sleeping, hitting the pillow for an example, that is just a reaction resembling our daily life. IF we do hit pillows, it shows that we were grumpy most of the time when we are awake.
Reading article like this, it made me feel like knowing more about dreams. I wondered at times if others have the same condition as me. I often felt my dreams are ‘previews’ on what is going to happen to me when I’m awake, maybe on the day itself or maybe in few days to come. Most of my dreams came true in my life. Sometimes, I don’t even believe myself! I have a friend who told me when we once talked about dreams, she said ‘If you tell your dreams to others, it won’t come true, in fact, if you keep things to yourself, it might happen and only you know how true it is because nobody else knows what you dreamt.’ Believe it or not, I had a bad dream and this is the only dream I shared with another person, my grandma and it turned out that this bad dream didn’t came true *touch wood* I didn’t know why I had this same bad dream again. It happened, the night I finished my last paper for UPSR for the first time, and the second time I got the same nightmare was the night I’ve done my last paper for PMR. I dreamt that I got kidnapped nearby my school (MGS). I still remember the details till today, the location, the people, the situation, how it happened and all. I still remember them well.
I found out my dreams got lesser ever since the day I stepped onto the land of Japan and these precious dreams came to me accurately every time. I remembered there were few times, I got so nervous because examination is around and I dreamt of the scene where I’m doing the particular paper I’m most worried of. Guess what?! On the day where I am supposed to sit for that paper, every single detail happened exactly like those in my dreams.
It had been long since the last time I dreamt. Last Sunday night, which was 4 days back, I had a nightmare. I couldn’t remember the dream but I knew it was a terrible dream where I woke up in the middle of the night. When I’m awake, sat up straight on my bed, trying my best to recall what had just happened, I only remembered picturing red images but I can’t figure out what it is. After thinking for quite some time, forced myself to recall my dream since it bothered me as it made me feel so uneasy, I slowly thought about two things in the dream which were scary to me. I see tooth, not extracted tooth, not a nice perfect tooth in the mouth but a fractured tooth and I see blood. So the red images were blood? Hmm… I then try to forget about it. I think it is because of the lab work again which stress me out.
I told my roommate that I had nightmare but I never told her what I saw. Monday night, I remembered I had another nightmare but this time, I really can’t recall, not a single bit of it. I felt so uneasy in me. I didn’t know why I told my roommate without reasoning, ‘Something bad will happen’. She stared at me but did not utter a word. Wednesday morning, I have IMT practical in the morning as usual. I thought I can get the signature easily as I perfected every single complaint that all the lecturers did. Guess what?! Just before the practical ended, this volcano-like lecturer suddenly commented that my model made is asymmetry. So I have to modify it. Whether I have to redo the whole thing or how I am going to do it, that is all up to me. I spent time these two days mending my work model at home thinking of why it gave me so many problems. Am I weak in doing all these models? Is it because of I got no skill? I am not talented? Or what? What else reason can it be?
Now, it is Thursday already. I only got a day left until my next practical. I wondered if I have enough time restructuring the model. I didn’t manage to do it well. All I did was adding gyps, cutting gyps, add and cut, add and cut, continuously. The angle just doesn’t seem to be right. When it is correct on the maxillary model, it has problem with its mandible and it went the opposite way too. I got fed up with this adding and cutting! I suddenly thought about the nightmare I had few days back. Does the dreams related to this work model? I saw fractured tooth in my dream. Now that I add and cut so much, both the 3rd molars for the maxillary arch were cut a little. Hopefully it won’t reduce a lot of my marks. I saw blood, which was a bad sign. Does it mean this restructuring job is really hard to do? Am I crazy relating my dream to this? Or am I superstitious or what? But there were really many things which I dreamt, had really come true.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I’m involved in MCCC events as Organizing Committee again
I had a meeting with MCCC members again at 1.30pm even I already quit myself as the shadow committee in the board. Not only that, in fact, we all FKGs *I meant all Malaysian Chinese students in the Faculty of Dentistry* had decided not to be the members in MCCC for certain reason due to the condition here. As usual, most of them were late. Them here, I meant those who were from the Faculty of Medicine of course. They are never early. I really don’t understand them. We, people from Dentistry are said to be ‘invited’ to be one of the organizing committee and see what they had done. They always make us wait for them for about half an hour. It is a waste of time! Since we are ‘invited’, so I say we are guests so they should actually respect us right? Sigh…
It is a meeting about the coming Chinese New Year dinner. I’m one of the organizing committees. They knew I’m good in talking so, they are smart enough to choose me to be their Master of Ceremony once again with Tracie, Karyn and ZW. Besides, I’m in-charge of ticket sales too. See… there is no way I can deny how smart these people from the Faculty of Medicine. Last year, oh… I meant this year’s (2008) Chinese Ney Year Auspicious Dinner used only 3 weeks for preparation. They did not have enough time to do all the preparations and so they asked for my help last minute to be their MC and they doubted my ability! After the dinner, many praised my job that night and said I brought them high up especially the game sessions. *I’m just being proud of myself, no other means okay?* So, they are here again, looking for me to help them, be their Master of Ceremony, also, selling the tickets in FKG. FKG means Fakultas Kedokteran GIgi (Faculty of Dentistry).
They wanted to make a bigger dinner this time. That is why I got so nervous about all the dress-ups since there will definitely be more people this time. They planned to sell off 500 seats because we managed to get 350 guests during the last dinner even though we only prepared in 3 weeks time. My personal hair stylist and make-up artist is not in Medan anymore. She is indeed a very good hair stylist and damn good in doing make-up. Dixie!!! I miss you so much! She is now studying in Salem, India. She left Medan, I’m not sure of the reason, perhaps she is not so happy with the system here. Now she is in India, studying in the Faculty of Dentistry too but not in second year. She didn’t manage to transfer credit so she is now studying starting from the very basic again.
I wonder who they will pair me up with as for the MC Job. All the other 3 MCs looked so serious. I’m not that kind of serious MC. I’m an informal MC who craps more on the stage. That is my second problem, worry if I can’t cooperate with them well.
It is a meeting about the coming Chinese New Year dinner. I’m one of the organizing committees. They knew I’m good in talking so, they are smart enough to choose me to be their Master of Ceremony once again with Tracie, Karyn and ZW. Besides, I’m in-charge of ticket sales too. See… there is no way I can deny how smart these people from the Faculty of Medicine. Last year, oh… I meant this year’s (2008) Chinese Ney Year Auspicious Dinner used only 3 weeks for preparation. They did not have enough time to do all the preparations and so they asked for my help last minute to be their MC and they doubted my ability! After the dinner, many praised my job that night and said I brought them high up especially the game sessions. *I’m just being proud of myself, no other means okay?* So, they are here again, looking for me to help them, be their Master of Ceremony, also, selling the tickets in FKG. FKG means Fakultas Kedokteran GIgi (Faculty of Dentistry).
They wanted to make a bigger dinner this time. That is why I got so nervous about all the dress-ups since there will definitely be more people this time. They planned to sell off 500 seats because we managed to get 350 guests during the last dinner even though we only prepared in 3 weeks time. My personal hair stylist and make-up artist is not in Medan anymore. She is indeed a very good hair stylist and damn good in doing make-up. Dixie!!! I miss you so much! She is now studying in Salem, India. She left Medan, I’m not sure of the reason, perhaps she is not so happy with the system here. Now she is in India, studying in the Faculty of Dentistry too but not in second year. She didn’t manage to transfer credit so she is now studying starting from the very basic again.
I wonder who they will pair me up with as for the MC Job. All the other 3 MCs looked so serious. I’m not that kind of serious MC. I’m an informal MC who craps more on the stage. That is my second problem, worry if I can’t cooperate with them well.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I'm so pissed off!
I was so happy this morning thinking of going back home. Why must these people spoil my mood? I already tried my very best to be really patience but I can stand NO MORE!
I almost argued with B last night at home because of Radiology assignment given by Dr. Cek Dara that day. I am very sure that if I didn't control myself last night, I might have already exploded. Living at a place like this, with this bunch of brainless people around me, I really must control myself so that I don't explode easily. I am very clear myself that I can't be the old me anymore because everybody here is just SO different.
I won't say I hate them because I know if I hate them, my life here for the coming years will be real suffering for me. I just don't like the way they do things! I did some parts of the journal. L passed it to me yesterday evening. I didn't take my usual short nap just to complete this assignment thinking that I have to submit it today. When I was doing it, B messaged *which I don't know why he must message when he is just outside my room* he asked if his thumb drive is with me. I said yea... because the files are in his thumb drive and I'm doing the part I should do. He replied, do faster and hand me back my thumb drive.
So I thought he rushed me that way because he wanted to do his part that time. I did them as quickly as I can and I passed it back to him at around 6pm. What happened that pissed me off is he disturbed my mood right before I sleep! SLEEP is a very important thing to me. Those who gave me calls while I’m sleeping will surely get a good scolding from me if the call is all of nonsense but if that call is important, I’ll answer the call seriously and of course, I’m not that mean to scold. Come one, I know when and who to scold.
It was about 12.30am and I was preparing myself for a good sleep last night since I didn’t take a short nap in the evening, I was lying on my bed already, hugging Mr. Patrick in my hands and I received message from B again.
Hey, sleep already? I guess it is still early for you right? Busy what?
Why? Radiology assignment done?
Assignment? Why? Hmm… I don’t know how to say. The others just seemed not to concern about this assignment. Every time I asked them about it, they just answered don’t know. I also don’t what to do with it.
Excuse me, tomorrow we have to pass up le… Print out the journal and also the slides we did, also, burn them both into CD. I saw Joel’s group submit both hard and soft copy yesterday. Has C got the email from Andrew already? I’ve asked Andrew to send the format of the first page for the journal to him.
You want to know about C, you go ask him yourself la… Eh… you know why I’m absent to class today? I got food poisoning again T.T
Reading that message, I got up from my bed and walked out of my room to C’s room, knocked his door and asked him about the email. He said he got it, I was relieved. So I asked him if he can pass me the completed journal and presentations at the same time, together with the format because I also need it for my pharmacology journal which I have to submit tomorrow morning. He said all the journals are done and surprisingly, he said it out loudly ‘hey come on la… We were given 3 weeks to do this journal. How can I not finish them?’ That moment, I am pretty sure he thought I was mentioning pharmacology journal so I told him ‘I meant Radiology journal. We have to submit that tomorrow.’
He looked at me, puzzled and then gave me a great shock by saying ‘where is it now?’
I was like ‘huh? You’re asking me where is it now? Alright! Forget about it, you pass me the format. I need them for my vitamin B6.’ Then, I walked grumpily to B’s room, knocked his room and entered without him answering the knocks. I asked him where are the slides and the journal now and if everything is done. He opened up the files in his thumb drive not knowing which file it is. It was so obvious he hasn’t open up or go through the work ever since I passed the thumb drive back to him. He then asked me what he should do. He thought I’ve done everything.
What?! You were rushing me and now you things like this. I sounded quite angry talking to him that time. L is here at the right time to say he will do the rest. I wasn’t angry because they didn’t do the work. I was pissed off because they were not doing it and they didn’t let me do it when I say let me finish up the rest. He said never mind. What did he mean by saying all these? I don’t care if you have food poisoning or what so ever because I am so NOT going to trust what you say anymore. I mean, dudes… let you guys judge this. He is saying he has food poisoning that is why he can’t attend the classes in the morning. That must be quite a serious case right? But what I see when I arrive home at 3pm after class was, he is gaming. He was gaming until the time he messaged me at 12.30am! Do you think he is sick or what?!
He sent me another message at around 2.45am later telling me not to worry because he and L had done everything. Okay. I tried to trust them for the very last time and it was an ABSOLUTE wrong to trust them. This morning I came out of home early to Medic Ed and Dent Café to get online to book my flight ticket. I was so happy that time because I thought I’ve done all my assignments, Pharmacology, Prosthodontics, Radiology, everything! You name it, I’ve done them! And I just book my flight ticket back. What a wonderful morning huh.
I was so wrong. I entered the class, I only see N in the class. The others all skip class as usual. He showed me the things he printed. While handing the compilations to me, I asked if they already burn them into CD. He said no. Fine. Soft copy is not a very big deal. Once I looked into the journal, GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! It was all in a mess! Everything is not in order! Slides?! Wow~ I’ve never seen such great work! It was the 3 slides plus another two slides that L did. 5 slides?! Still that 5 old slides and he messaged informing me he done them last night?! Kill me! KILL ME! I feel like banging my head into the wall for that instance! OMG! I really never thought they would give me such a big surprise in this early morning. Luckily I have my laptop with me.
I tried my best to continue doing the slides after class at 11am. Now, this time, N rushed me telling me to do faster because it is Friday today. The Muslims will have to pray and so all departments will close at 12pm. I did them at my best and I managed to do another 5 slides. At least 10 slides look like something I am not embarrassed to hand it up to my lecturer. N quickly ran out to get them printed again and then submit the work to the department.
See… I really am not mad at them because they didn’t do work because I already know them few days back. I just don’t understand why B acted exactly like a weirdo? He acted like that ever since the incident during our last holiday. Is it my entire fault that he acted so awkwardly right now? If it is a YES, I apologize but why is he doing all these to me? Telling me he is sick and stuff. Sending me messages like… sigh… This is not the first time already. I’m speechless. Sometimes, I really felt like shouting at his face ‘YOU ARE VERY ANNOYING! STOP DISTURBING ME! DON’T MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE. I WANT TO STAY HERE HAPPILY SO PLEASE, GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!’ But in the end, I think I shouldn’t say these to him. It hurts. We are still housemates, course-mates and classmates after all. I don’t want us to be not talking to each other even though we are living under the same roof.
I almost argued with B last night at home because of Radiology assignment given by Dr. Cek Dara that day. I am very sure that if I didn't control myself last night, I might have already exploded. Living at a place like this, with this bunch of brainless people around me, I really must control myself so that I don't explode easily. I am very clear myself that I can't be the old me anymore because everybody here is just SO different.
I won't say I hate them because I know if I hate them, my life here for the coming years will be real suffering for me. I just don't like the way they do things! I did some parts of the journal. L passed it to me yesterday evening. I didn't take my usual short nap just to complete this assignment thinking that I have to submit it today. When I was doing it, B messaged *which I don't know why he must message when he is just outside my room* he asked if his thumb drive is with me. I said yea... because the files are in his thumb drive and I'm doing the part I should do. He replied, do faster and hand me back my thumb drive.
So I thought he rushed me that way because he wanted to do his part that time. I did them as quickly as I can and I passed it back to him at around 6pm. What happened that pissed me off is he disturbed my mood right before I sleep! SLEEP is a very important thing to me. Those who gave me calls while I’m sleeping will surely get a good scolding from me if the call is all of nonsense but if that call is important, I’ll answer the call seriously and of course, I’m not that mean to scold. Come one, I know when and who to scold.
It was about 12.30am and I was preparing myself for a good sleep last night since I didn’t take a short nap in the evening, I was lying on my bed already, hugging Mr. Patrick in my hands and I received message from B again.
Hey, sleep already? I guess it is still early for you right? Busy what?
Why? Radiology assignment done?
Assignment? Why? Hmm… I don’t know how to say. The others just seemed not to concern about this assignment. Every time I asked them about it, they just answered don’t know. I also don’t what to do with it.
Excuse me, tomorrow we have to pass up le… Print out the journal and also the slides we did, also, burn them both into CD. I saw Joel’s group submit both hard and soft copy yesterday. Has C got the email from Andrew already? I’ve asked Andrew to send the format of the first page for the journal to him.
You want to know about C, you go ask him yourself la… Eh… you know why I’m absent to class today? I got food poisoning again T.T
Reading that message, I got up from my bed and walked out of my room to C’s room, knocked his door and asked him about the email. He said he got it, I was relieved. So I asked him if he can pass me the completed journal and presentations at the same time, together with the format because I also need it for my pharmacology journal which I have to submit tomorrow morning. He said all the journals are done and surprisingly, he said it out loudly ‘hey come on la… We were given 3 weeks to do this journal. How can I not finish them?’ That moment, I am pretty sure he thought I was mentioning pharmacology journal so I told him ‘I meant Radiology journal. We have to submit that tomorrow.’
He looked at me, puzzled and then gave me a great shock by saying ‘where is it now?’
I was like ‘huh? You’re asking me where is it now? Alright! Forget about it, you pass me the format. I need them for my vitamin B6.’ Then, I walked grumpily to B’s room, knocked his room and entered without him answering the knocks. I asked him where are the slides and the journal now and if everything is done. He opened up the files in his thumb drive not knowing which file it is. It was so obvious he hasn’t open up or go through the work ever since I passed the thumb drive back to him. He then asked me what he should do. He thought I’ve done everything.
What?! You were rushing me and now you things like this. I sounded quite angry talking to him that time. L is here at the right time to say he will do the rest. I wasn’t angry because they didn’t do the work. I was pissed off because they were not doing it and they didn’t let me do it when I say let me finish up the rest. He said never mind. What did he mean by saying all these? I don’t care if you have food poisoning or what so ever because I am so NOT going to trust what you say anymore. I mean, dudes… let you guys judge this. He is saying he has food poisoning that is why he can’t attend the classes in the morning. That must be quite a serious case right? But what I see when I arrive home at 3pm after class was, he is gaming. He was gaming until the time he messaged me at 12.30am! Do you think he is sick or what?!
He sent me another message at around 2.45am later telling me not to worry because he and L had done everything. Okay. I tried to trust them for the very last time and it was an ABSOLUTE wrong to trust them. This morning I came out of home early to Medic Ed and Dent Café to get online to book my flight ticket. I was so happy that time because I thought I’ve done all my assignments, Pharmacology, Prosthodontics, Radiology, everything! You name it, I’ve done them! And I just book my flight ticket back. What a wonderful morning huh.
I was so wrong. I entered the class, I only see N in the class. The others all skip class as usual. He showed me the things he printed. While handing the compilations to me, I asked if they already burn them into CD. He said no. Fine. Soft copy is not a very big deal. Once I looked into the journal, GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! It was all in a mess! Everything is not in order! Slides?! Wow~ I’ve never seen such great work! It was the 3 slides plus another two slides that L did. 5 slides?! Still that 5 old slides and he messaged informing me he done them last night?! Kill me! KILL ME! I feel like banging my head into the wall for that instance! OMG! I really never thought they would give me such a big surprise in this early morning. Luckily I have my laptop with me.
I tried my best to continue doing the slides after class at 11am. Now, this time, N rushed me telling me to do faster because it is Friday today. The Muslims will have to pray and so all departments will close at 12pm. I did them at my best and I managed to do another 5 slides. At least 10 slides look like something I am not embarrassed to hand it up to my lecturer. N quickly ran out to get them printed again and then submit the work to the department.
See… I really am not mad at them because they didn’t do work because I already know them few days back. I just don’t understand why B acted exactly like a weirdo? He acted like that ever since the incident during our last holiday. Is it my entire fault that he acted so awkwardly right now? If it is a YES, I apologize but why is he doing all these to me? Telling me he is sick and stuff. Sending me messages like… sigh… This is not the first time already. I’m speechless. Sometimes, I really felt like shouting at his face ‘YOU ARE VERY ANNOYING! STOP DISTURBING ME! DON’T MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE. I WANT TO STAY HERE HAPPILY SO PLEASE, GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!’ But in the end, I think I shouldn’t say these to him. It hurts. We are still housemates, course-mates and classmates after all. I don’t want us to be not talking to each other even though we are living under the same roof.
Malaysia, I'll be BACK!!!
Hello people! Li Ting is here, very happy today, not because of examination are coming soon of course *I’m not crazy =.=* It is because… hahaha… because… you know what I’m going to say right? Final is in two weeks time which is so damn scary because this time I really haven’t open up my books. There are too many assignments waiting for me lately. Second mid semester examination on the other hand will be here in a week time but fortunately, that is only for few subjects. Once I’m done with all these examination which drives me crazy and go dizzy, I’ll head back to MALAYSIA! Even though Malaysia is not the best country to me BUT I’m proud being a Malaysian ever since I stay here in Indonesia for studies. Lol.
I just booked my air ticket back home. Home sweet home! Wee~ I can’t wait for the day to come. 19th of December, it is less than a month! This time is a bit different from the previous time I go back. I booked a morning flight. So, I’ll arrive to Terminal LCC (LCCT), Malaysia at noon. The flight takes only 50 minutes. Sometimes if the pilot is good *because he brings me back home faster*, it’ll take me less than 50 minutes. Wow~ well, well, well, I know I am very crazily excited right now but I just can’t help it! I miss Malaysia so much!
Day time flight will bring some tiny trouble for me actually. Back to KL, all my relatives are working that time. That is why I always take night flight when I coming back from Medan, Indonesia. This time it is different because my family doesn’t want me to go to the airport alone at night. Once you had an experience in this Polonia Airport, you’ll understand why my family got so worried when they hear the others are not coming back with me, taking the night flight as usual. Now that I’m taking a day time flight, all my housemates will take the same flight with me. Back to Malaysia, all of us will go to separate ways. N will head back to Kuala Lipis, Pahang, L will go to his sister’s house at Johor with his parents I guess, while C will take a bus to KL Central as usual and then LRT back to his house which is situated at Setapak. I don’t know where B will go. We didn’t really talk these days, not in this semester, especially after that incident last holiday. Last but not least, O, the only medicine student in my house, I don’t know when he will go home. His timetable is different from us.
Alright, enough about the guys in my house! Both the pretty and cute girls in the house will go home together this time. Of course, J is not my sister! We, in fact, has NO any family relationship even though her parents and my mother were from the same place, Sitiawan, Perak. I’ll follow her car to her house from LCCT because my relatives are all working, none of them can fetch me from airport. I thought of taking a taxi or some other alternatives to go back to Aunty Joan’s house but I don’t have the keys. So, the plan now is to follow J to her house and wait for Uncle Jacky to come looking for me at around evening.
I always feel that I bring a lot of trouble to Aunty Joan and Uncle Jacky. They helped me a lot and I know they love me a lot! When I was in Kuantan, they always visit me and my family, bring me for travelling with them *even though we travel in Malaysia, but guess what?? I haven’t visited Sabah and Sarawak, others, I’ve been to those states already*and they buy me things. Not only that, Aunty Joan helped a lot on my studies, not teaching me on lessons I don’t understand, but finding information on Medical and Dentistry studies, helped me looking for dental suppliers all around KL, Selangor and Penang, and many others. BUT look at what I’ve gave them. NOTHING! I gave them absolutely nothing! At this age, what can I do? All I can do now is to study real hard and not disappoint them. I’ve disappoint Uncle Jacky once. I don’t want to repeat it again. He always wanted me to take law studies, so did the others in my family and also all my teachers (school and tuition teachers) but I took dentistry in the end which I myself didn’t know why. I feel funny sometimes on why we didn’t even know why we are doing something. It is as if we do it according to intuitions. I wondered if all these decisions are made right >.<
I just booked my air ticket back home. Home sweet home! Wee~ I can’t wait for the day to come. 19th of December, it is less than a month! This time is a bit different from the previous time I go back. I booked a morning flight. So, I’ll arrive to Terminal LCC (LCCT), Malaysia at noon. The flight takes only 50 minutes. Sometimes if the pilot is good *because he brings me back home faster*, it’ll take me less than 50 minutes. Wow~ well, well, well, I know I am very crazily excited right now but I just can’t help it! I miss Malaysia so much!
Day time flight will bring some tiny trouble for me actually. Back to KL, all my relatives are working that time. That is why I always take night flight when I coming back from Medan, Indonesia. This time it is different because my family doesn’t want me to go to the airport alone at night. Once you had an experience in this Polonia Airport, you’ll understand why my family got so worried when they hear the others are not coming back with me, taking the night flight as usual. Now that I’m taking a day time flight, all my housemates will take the same flight with me. Back to Malaysia, all of us will go to separate ways. N will head back to Kuala Lipis, Pahang, L will go to his sister’s house at Johor with his parents I guess, while C will take a bus to KL Central as usual and then LRT back to his house which is situated at Setapak. I don’t know where B will go. We didn’t really talk these days, not in this semester, especially after that incident last holiday. Last but not least, O, the only medicine student in my house, I don’t know when he will go home. His timetable is different from us.
Alright, enough about the guys in my house! Both the pretty and cute girls in the house will go home together this time. Of course, J is not my sister! We, in fact, has NO any family relationship even though her parents and my mother were from the same place, Sitiawan, Perak. I’ll follow her car to her house from LCCT because my relatives are all working, none of them can fetch me from airport. I thought of taking a taxi or some other alternatives to go back to Aunty Joan’s house but I don’t have the keys. So, the plan now is to follow J to her house and wait for Uncle Jacky to come looking for me at around evening.
I always feel that I bring a lot of trouble to Aunty Joan and Uncle Jacky. They helped me a lot and I know they love me a lot! When I was in Kuantan, they always visit me and my family, bring me for travelling with them *even though we travel in Malaysia, but guess what?? I haven’t visited Sabah and Sarawak, others, I’ve been to those states already*and they buy me things. Not only that, Aunty Joan helped a lot on my studies, not teaching me on lessons I don’t understand, but finding information on Medical and Dentistry studies, helped me looking for dental suppliers all around KL, Selangor and Penang, and many others. BUT look at what I’ve gave them. NOTHING! I gave them absolutely nothing! At this age, what can I do? All I can do now is to study real hard and not disappoint them. I’ve disappoint Uncle Jacky once. I don’t want to repeat it again. He always wanted me to take law studies, so did the others in my family and also all my teachers (school and tuition teachers) but I took dentistry in the end which I myself didn’t know why. I feel funny sometimes on why we didn’t even know why we are doing something. It is as if we do it according to intuitions. I wondered if all these decisions are made right >.<
Thursday, November 20, 2008
li ting is POLITE?! I+M+P+O+S+S+I+B+L+E= IMPOSSIBLE! Even though I always say NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE!
This is the second place for me to write out all my complaints, discomforts, everything, my feelings: happy, sad, excited, bored… etc. My diary is the first place of course. I found out I only write diary when I wasn’t in Malaysia. Why? Perhaps, my best friends are not around me? Perhaps, papa and mama are not here with me? I got no idea.
My lip hurts! It is all because of the IMT lab work. My lab partner, N *yea… the same guy who is staying in the same house with me* accidentally broke his model and now he has to redo it. Redo the whole thing starting from getting the impression of my teeth. I didn’t know why this time it is so difficult for him to get my impression until that he used more than about 700g of alginate. We continually tried to get this impression for few hours in a day until my gums bleed at around my premolars and first molars. Not only that, my lower lip swells too. I only realized it was swollen after I took my bath and look myself into the mirror two days back.
Yesterday, the swell on my lower lip slowly reduced but it swells inside the cheeks, especially my right check. It was a little painful but I still manage to look as if it doesn’t hurt me at all. Today, I can’t open my mouth widely as usual because when I do so, it hurts. My friends were asking why I looked so polite, talked so softly, and ate so slowly today. Wakakaka… I felt funny in me when they asked that. That was the first time in my life that people said I AM POLITE! OMG! I never thought this day will come lol.
Even so, back home after classes, we did this impressing stuff again at home. He was a little afraid if I hurt. According to him, even though I said I still can do it, but my face reactions betrayed me every time he tried to put the impression tray into my mouth. Today, it bleeds again in my mouth maybe because he didn’t put it right, the metal, it was stainless steel actually, at the sides of the impression tray were pressed wrongly down to my mandible arch to get my impression. He placed the impression tray to deep into my mouth and so the stainless steels were pressed onto my anterior teeth. The blood flows out of its capillary voluntarily. It hurts more this time actually. The right side of my lip were getting more painful than morning time.
I know how stressful it is not completing this lab work. I faced this before. I sensed he is under stress too. I just hope he can get my impression as soon as possible. I told him to do it again. Actually there were few impressions we got were quite good but we both were not satisfied. Maybe it is because we were both perfectionists? Many people here said I am a perfectionist and that is why I’m always stressed out. I never satisfied with my own work even though many people think what I did were very good.
A very good example, Anatomy journal! I spent 2 hours for one drawing and yet I am still not satisfied with my own drawing. The others spent 2 hours for the whole journal which includes at least 40 pictures of bones, joints, muscles, and foramen. They said I wasted too much time on all these nonsense which is actually already a very good work. Even lecturer doesn’t really believe that it was my drawing, he thought I scanned them, he even tried to rub his fingers on the pictures to check if I photocopied or I drew it with 2B pencils. Hey people, I’m not trying to show off okay. I’m just giving an example on why people say I’m a perfectionist.
I really hope N can get a nice model out of this newly made impression. Don’t waste my blood, N! lol. Anyway, if he really has to redo it, as his lab partner, I still have to sacrifice my mouth. OMG! Sounded like I sacrificed a lot but nope! I made him suffer previously too for my good models even though I didn’t make him bleed and swell. Now it is my turn to help him.
My lip hurts! It is all because of the IMT lab work. My lab partner, N *yea… the same guy who is staying in the same house with me* accidentally broke his model and now he has to redo it. Redo the whole thing starting from getting the impression of my teeth. I didn’t know why this time it is so difficult for him to get my impression until that he used more than about 700g of alginate. We continually tried to get this impression for few hours in a day until my gums bleed at around my premolars and first molars. Not only that, my lower lip swells too. I only realized it was swollen after I took my bath and look myself into the mirror two days back.
Yesterday, the swell on my lower lip slowly reduced but it swells inside the cheeks, especially my right check. It was a little painful but I still manage to look as if it doesn’t hurt me at all. Today, I can’t open my mouth widely as usual because when I do so, it hurts. My friends were asking why I looked so polite, talked so softly, and ate so slowly today. Wakakaka… I felt funny in me when they asked that. That was the first time in my life that people said I AM POLITE! OMG! I never thought this day will come lol.
Even so, back home after classes, we did this impressing stuff again at home. He was a little afraid if I hurt. According to him, even though I said I still can do it, but my face reactions betrayed me every time he tried to put the impression tray into my mouth. Today, it bleeds again in my mouth maybe because he didn’t put it right, the metal, it was stainless steel actually, at the sides of the impression tray were pressed wrongly down to my mandible arch to get my impression. He placed the impression tray to deep into my mouth and so the stainless steels were pressed onto my anterior teeth. The blood flows out of its capillary voluntarily. It hurts more this time actually. The right side of my lip were getting more painful than morning time.
I know how stressful it is not completing this lab work. I faced this before. I sensed he is under stress too. I just hope he can get my impression as soon as possible. I told him to do it again. Actually there were few impressions we got were quite good but we both were not satisfied. Maybe it is because we were both perfectionists? Many people here said I am a perfectionist and that is why I’m always stressed out. I never satisfied with my own work even though many people think what I did were very good.
A very good example, Anatomy journal! I spent 2 hours for one drawing and yet I am still not satisfied with my own drawing. The others spent 2 hours for the whole journal which includes at least 40 pictures of bones, joints, muscles, and foramen. They said I wasted too much time on all these nonsense which is actually already a very good work. Even lecturer doesn’t really believe that it was my drawing, he thought I scanned them, he even tried to rub his fingers on the pictures to check if I photocopied or I drew it with 2B pencils. Hey people, I’m not trying to show off okay. I’m just giving an example on why people say I’m a perfectionist.
I really hope N can get a nice model out of this newly made impression. Don’t waste my blood, N! lol. Anyway, if he really has to redo it, as his lab partner, I still have to sacrifice my mouth. OMG! Sounded like I sacrificed a lot but nope! I made him suffer previously too for my good models even though I didn’t make him bleed and swell. Now it is my turn to help him.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
frustrated with people's attitudes >.<
I'm NOT HAPPY with the guys in my house. Very very disappointed indeed. Why do all the guys play games crazily ESPECIALLY DOTA?! Gosh~ Gaming is more important than assignments now? Why can't they stop just for an hour to complete the assignments? Wanna say I'm fussy? busybody? GO AHEAD! Shout at me! I won't be like this if I'm not in the same group with them. Who cares if they didn't submit their assignments. It is none of my business! BUT now that I care so much because all 5 of us including myself is in the same group.
We've been given 1 week time to finish up this assignment of Dental Radiology on Temporomandibular Joint (TMJ).I know I was lazy and did only 2 slides of the presentations, and I then passed the things I've done to N 2 days after the assignment was given. 2 slides are not too little right? See... 5 people in a group, each do 2 slides, that makes 10 slides. That is just nice! Brilliant me! wakakakak...
So, we're supposed to submit this work today morning. Yesterday morning during my Pathology Anatomy practical, I asked the guys if they've done the work. They asked me looking innocent 'what are you talking about? What assignment?'. FINE. I explained to them about what to do.
Last night, at arounf 8pm, B messaged and asked 'what assignment were you talking about this morning? I just came home. The others are gaming. Nobody seemed to do this assignment. So what should I do? I thought TMJ, lecturer haven't teach us that. Where do we find the materials and info to do the presentation.' I replied 'Lecturer haven't teach about it and she wanted us to do the presentation.' Guess what he replied next? He said 'Then what should we write in the slides? Write whatever we like? You said you did 3 slides and that 3 slides include the first slide which only write the title and our names?!'
I was like OMG! Can't you find the infos online and then as usual, translate all the English articles into Indonesian language?! I don't want him to think that I have prejudice on him so I instead choose not to reply him. I walked to L's room after that and told him to do the slides with the others.
Alright! I thought they would do it after they finish their so-called last round. This morning, they said they done another extra 2 slides, which means we got altogether 5 slides right now and gave me reasons saying they didn't know we have this assignents. They only know it last night. How can they find the infos that late. I was like WTH?! I've told you guys and I passed my works to N few days back and now you guys are putting the blames on me?! Talking bout can't find info online, I thought Mr C still has the internet service for himself in his room?! They then didn't dare talking to me.
Fortunately, Dr. Cek Dara didn't call any of our names to come out for presentation. I wonder what she will comment seeing our great work. She got to know some of my classmates who haven't done their work though and she gave us another few days time, so we have to submit it to her by this Friday. I won't want to be in the same group with these people anymore unless there is no other choice. I don't want to take the risk.
We've been given 1 week time to finish up this assignment of Dental Radiology on Temporomandibular Joint (TMJ).I know I was lazy and did only 2 slides of the presentations, and I then passed the things I've done to N 2 days after the assignment was given. 2 slides are not too little right? See... 5 people in a group, each do 2 slides, that makes 10 slides. That is just nice! Brilliant me! wakakakak...
So, we're supposed to submit this work today morning. Yesterday morning during my Pathology Anatomy practical, I asked the guys if they've done the work. They asked me looking innocent 'what are you talking about? What assignment?'. FINE. I explained to them about what to do.
Last night, at arounf 8pm, B messaged and asked 'what assignment were you talking about this morning? I just came home. The others are gaming. Nobody seemed to do this assignment. So what should I do? I thought TMJ, lecturer haven't teach us that. Where do we find the materials and info to do the presentation.' I replied 'Lecturer haven't teach about it and she wanted us to do the presentation.' Guess what he replied next? He said 'Then what should we write in the slides? Write whatever we like? You said you did 3 slides and that 3 slides include the first slide which only write the title and our names?!'
I was like OMG! Can't you find the infos online and then as usual, translate all the English articles into Indonesian language?! I don't want him to think that I have prejudice on him so I instead choose not to reply him. I walked to L's room after that and told him to do the slides with the others.
Alright! I thought they would do it after they finish their so-called last round. This morning, they said they done another extra 2 slides, which means we got altogether 5 slides right now and gave me reasons saying they didn't know we have this assignents. They only know it last night. How can they find the infos that late. I was like WTH?! I've told you guys and I passed my works to N few days back and now you guys are putting the blames on me?! Talking bout can't find info online, I thought Mr C still has the internet service for himself in his room?! They then didn't dare talking to me.
Fortunately, Dr. Cek Dara didn't call any of our names to come out for presentation. I wonder what she will comment seeing our great work. She got to know some of my classmates who haven't done their work though and she gave us another few days time, so we have to submit it to her by this Friday. I won't want to be in the same group with these people anymore unless there is no other choice. I don't want to take the risk.
Monday, November 17, 2008
dilemma
I was in dilemma when I received message from Umaiyal asking for my help. I always wanted to help as much people as I can, living here in Medan because I know I’ll need their help one day no matter here in Medan or back in Malaysia. Why in Medan? It is because I’ll need help from friends to get enough patients in my clinical years. Why in Malaysia? Let’s see… I think because we are all dentist-to-be, we might need help from each other? I believe we will all be in different specialization. Talking about specialization, I still don’t know which kind of specialist I should head for. Should I take Orthodontics? Prosthodontics? Dental Maxilla Surgery? Peiodontics? Endodontics? Or what? There are so many, I never thought Dentistry can be divided into so many.
Back to the dilemma in me. She asked me to help her talk to Dr Rehulina tomorrow morning about the attendance signature. She wanted me to say that I accidentally signed in her column since my name is just below hers. Dr Rehulina had barred her from sitting for the coming practical test on this coming Monday because of it. Should I help her? See if I help her, she would be really glad about it and I’m happy helping my friend but what will Dr Rehulina think and say? She might think I’m telling lies or something else like why did I tried to sign for Umaiyal when she is absent for practical, I tried to cover up her mistakes. If I don’t help, I’m save from Dr Rehulina’s punishment but it is so pitiful for Umaiyal. She didn’t ask anybody’s help to sign for her and now nobody wanted to admit that they signed for her.
After thinking about the pros and cons for some time, I of course don’t dare to do it! I called Andrew to ask if he admitted he helped Peiter signed and discussed with him about what I should do on Umaiyal’s case. He too agreed with me that I shouldn’t help Umaiyal this time. Dr Rehulina is just like a sleeping volcano which will explode anytime. It is best not to test her patience. I’m afraid if I help Umaiyal, she will bar me for my coming practical test too. I didn’t want that to happen, especially incidents which will delay my graduation. Say me selfish and realistic this time, but I’m really sorry to Umaiyal I couldn’t help. I wonder what she will do next. I told her to try talking again to Dr Rehulina. Hopefully Dr Rehulina is just scaring her, didn’t really meant to bar her.
Back to the dilemma in me. She asked me to help her talk to Dr Rehulina tomorrow morning about the attendance signature. She wanted me to say that I accidentally signed in her column since my name is just below hers. Dr Rehulina had barred her from sitting for the coming practical test on this coming Monday because of it. Should I help her? See if I help her, she would be really glad about it and I’m happy helping my friend but what will Dr Rehulina think and say? She might think I’m telling lies or something else like why did I tried to sign for Umaiyal when she is absent for practical, I tried to cover up her mistakes. If I don’t help, I’m save from Dr Rehulina’s punishment but it is so pitiful for Umaiyal. She didn’t ask anybody’s help to sign for her and now nobody wanted to admit that they signed for her.
After thinking about the pros and cons for some time, I of course don’t dare to do it! I called Andrew to ask if he admitted he helped Peiter signed and discussed with him about what I should do on Umaiyal’s case. He too agreed with me that I shouldn’t help Umaiyal this time. Dr Rehulina is just like a sleeping volcano which will explode anytime. It is best not to test her patience. I’m afraid if I help Umaiyal, she will bar me for my coming practical test too. I didn’t want that to happen, especially incidents which will delay my graduation. Say me selfish and realistic this time, but I’m really sorry to Umaiyal I couldn’t help. I wonder what she will do next. I told her to try talking again to Dr Rehulina. Hopefully Dr Rehulina is just scaring her, didn’t really meant to bar her.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
po po~ happy birthday!
Here I am in the administration office in the campus. Classes after the mid semester examination that day are all messed up. The lecturers changed the timetable like nobody's business just like today, when I arrived to my class at around 9am, thought I have Pharmacology class at 9am, my classmates told me the class was canceled. I went online in Medic Ed and Dent Cafe again. Back to the class at 11am, attended Pathology Clinic lecture which ended 1 hour and 20 minutes earlier =.='
That is why I am here right now to update my page. Life has been really hectic and IMT lab is very stressful as usual. It stressed me out early of the semester with its carvings in the lab, I couldn't get the signature in time for the first few teeth. Thank GOD I managed to finish off my molars in time. Next, I have to turn these carved models in wax into acrylic. Both the incisors are still on my table. I still need to polish them up till they looked as if they're made of marbles but I haven't been touching them for weeks.
Done with the acrylics, I had this practical where we have to get our partner's impressions for both maxillary and mandible arches. It stressed me out too that time. My partner's teeth are difficult. Wonder if they are difficult or am I just the weak one in practicals all the time? Many advised me not to give up because this is the first time I'm learning and take impression of a person plus his teeth are difficult. Difficult for me as in he has great protrusion for his maxillary arch, he has got a class II teeth. This is better still. My headache worsen when it comes to getting the impression out, especially the mandible model made of Plaster of Paris. Here, the problem is with his crowded teeth.
Guess what?! I used up Rp. 700.000 in just 12 days. I never thought I would use these much. Most of the money were wasted on the materials used for these impressions and models. OMG! They are costing me so much, really never thought dental material can cost me that much. I felt so sorry to ask my partner to be seated there again and again for me to get his impressions. Last night, finally I got the Plaster of Paris out nicely.
I guess the next practical will be stressful too. It is to get the right occlusion from the models I did and hmmm... trim them nicely, cut them in the correct angle and put them into an occludator. I only got 4 practicals left. Hopefully I can finish everything in time. I don't want to repeat such stressful practicals again. I had turned my life upside down. My sleeping time, meal time, everything is not in order. Oh yaa... I'm having my appetite back already so to my friends who are worried of me, as I said to you guys do not worry! hehehe...
I'm trying to take more rice nowadays to gain energy. I felt I've used up all my energy already. I don't where and when I used them though. Finals are so near which is in another 3 weeks time. This time is really different from previous semesters. We have to study everything even those which were taught before mid semester. I must really work hard.
Today is my grandma's birthday and here I wish her Happy Birthday and Have a Great Trip to Egypt and Dubai this coming weekend. I'm not very sure how long she will be off for travelling this time though. Gotta give her a phone call later. Oh ya.. I heard today is also the day where UPSR results will be announced and I bet if it is today, the results are already announced. Hopefully my little cousin brother has good news for me =) GTG! My lappie's battery is running out =P
That is why I am here right now to update my page. Life has been really hectic and IMT lab is very stressful as usual. It stressed me out early of the semester with its carvings in the lab, I couldn't get the signature in time for the first few teeth. Thank GOD I managed to finish off my molars in time. Next, I have to turn these carved models in wax into acrylic. Both the incisors are still on my table. I still need to polish them up till they looked as if they're made of marbles but I haven't been touching them for weeks.
Done with the acrylics, I had this practical where we have to get our partner's impressions for both maxillary and mandible arches. It stressed me out too that time. My partner's teeth are difficult. Wonder if they are difficult or am I just the weak one in practicals all the time? Many advised me not to give up because this is the first time I'm learning and take impression of a person plus his teeth are difficult. Difficult for me as in he has great protrusion for his maxillary arch, he has got a class II teeth. This is better still. My headache worsen when it comes to getting the impression out, especially the mandible model made of Plaster of Paris. Here, the problem is with his crowded teeth.
Guess what?! I used up Rp. 700.000 in just 12 days. I never thought I would use these much. Most of the money were wasted on the materials used for these impressions and models. OMG! They are costing me so much, really never thought dental material can cost me that much. I felt so sorry to ask my partner to be seated there again and again for me to get his impressions. Last night, finally I got the Plaster of Paris out nicely.
I guess the next practical will be stressful too. It is to get the right occlusion from the models I did and hmmm... trim them nicely, cut them in the correct angle and put them into an occludator. I only got 4 practicals left. Hopefully I can finish everything in time. I don't want to repeat such stressful practicals again. I had turned my life upside down. My sleeping time, meal time, everything is not in order. Oh yaa... I'm having my appetite back already so to my friends who are worried of me, as I said to you guys do not worry! hehehe...
I'm trying to take more rice nowadays to gain energy. I felt I've used up all my energy already. I don't where and when I used them though. Finals are so near which is in another 3 weeks time. This time is really different from previous semesters. We have to study everything even those which were taught before mid semester. I must really work hard.
Today is my grandma's birthday and here I wish her Happy Birthday and Have a Great Trip to Egypt and Dubai this coming weekend. I'm not very sure how long she will be off for travelling this time though. Gotta give her a phone call later. Oh ya.. I heard today is also the day where UPSR results will be announced and I bet if it is today, the results are already announced. Hopefully my little cousin brother has good news for me =) GTG! My lappie's battery is running out =P
Friday, November 07, 2008
Don't worry, Be happy =)
I'm so sorry to make you girls worry so much of me that you people called me nonstop just to ask about my recent condition especially the amount of food I consumed a day. I know all of you care alot for me and I'm very touched for that! I really never thought you girls cared so much for me before this! I shouldn't have typed all those health problems I'm facing here in the blog I guess but anyway, thank you so much for all your suggestions and advices =)
I'll take good care of myself. No worries of me! I still look healthy hehehe... Hey darlings, good luck and best of luck in your STPM kay? It is in a week time I bet all of you are damn nervous right now. Stay cool and relax. Don't work out yourself this time. Take good care of your health too! Remember to get enough sleep and drink plenty of water! ciaoz~
I'll take good care of myself. No worries of me! I still look healthy hehehe... Hey darlings, good luck and best of luck in your STPM kay? It is in a week time I bet all of you are damn nervous right now. Stay cool and relax. Don't work out yourself this time. Take good care of your health too! Remember to get enough sleep and drink plenty of water! ciaoz~
Thursday, November 06, 2008
back for updates!
here I am back for updates on myself. Life without internet at home these few days were bored, very boring, super duper hyper boring! I'm here for the first time blogging at this cafe owneed by my agent (Cafe Medic Ed and Dent). It is so dumb that we can't get the wifi connection in the class. Perhaps our dean wanted us all to pay full attention in the class but but but I can't! I felt so sleepy in the class these days maybe because I'm not feeling well?But I do think I'm fully recovered right now.
I had high fever on Monday after bringing the juniors to TASBI looking for Dr. Keriahen's house. I took Panadol Activfast which doesn't do any effect on me at all and I slept the whole day like mad. These tablets are so scarily big sized OMG! Yep... I stil have phobia towards all these tablets and capsules like I need about 1 litre of water just to swallow 2 tablets =.= I'm not joking >.<
Life has been hectic. Lecturers are giving us assignments like mad once again. Hopefully I can finish them all in time especially my journal on Pharmacology of Vitamin B6. The Department of Dental Radiology is going to give us assignment too! I'm waiting for the order from my class representative.
I am so stressed out with my IMT lab work now. Guess what?! I managed to get 2 perfect impressions of my partner out of 3 trying while practicing at home but I can't get one impression, NOT EVEN ONE impression after using about 700grams of alginate! I don't know what is wrong with me I got so stressed out in the lab yesterday. Chun tried taking impression from me too. He had put too much alginate on the impression tray that I almost vomitted in the lab.
I really has got no idea on what is wrong in me. After I had fever that day, I got no appetite at all. Don't feel like eating? Feel a great nausea once the food are in my mouth? Both...! I wanted to go on diet and I planned to take 2 light meals a day, like at least I eat something everyday, not fattening food of course! BUT I know how bad it is to go have eating disorders. I want to be thinner healthily! Like I said before, I'm pretty worried of myself having bulimia nervosa. I don't want to join those models who wanted to go thin, eat alot like normal people in front of others but run into the ladies after the meal, put my finger deep into my throat to force myself throw everything out from my stomach!
It surprised me of my own act yesterday afternoon. I never dared doing it but I did it yesterday. I went to the toilet, put my finger into my thraot and tried to force things out from my stomach but NOTHING came out! I never thought I would do so. I never intend to do so and I really has got no idea why I did it! Perhaps it is because of the alginate that I think I swallowed a little in the lab? or is it really because I am one of those with bulimia nervosa with me?! I don't want myself to get into this condition! But I just don't know why I don't feel like eating at all. After forcing myself that way in the washroom, my throat hurts to the max till now. It is still hurting me! HELP! Is there any way to help me to get my appetite back?
I haven't been eating normally since four days ago. Abnormally in like I only took fillet-o-fish from McD delivery on Tuesday(which created a great nausea in me once I swallow them, I ran to the washroom for quite a while but didn't manage to throw out), a cup of mushroom soup yesterday and today, two piece of pineapples and a little 'ciku' since my friends suggested me to take fruits). Do you think this eating habit of mine is normal or abnormal?
I had high fever on Monday after bringing the juniors to TASBI looking for Dr. Keriahen's house. I took Panadol Activfast which doesn't do any effect on me at all and I slept the whole day like mad. These tablets are so scarily big sized OMG! Yep... I stil have phobia towards all these tablets and capsules like I need about 1 litre of water just to swallow 2 tablets =.= I'm not joking >.<
Life has been hectic. Lecturers are giving us assignments like mad once again. Hopefully I can finish them all in time especially my journal on Pharmacology of Vitamin B6. The Department of Dental Radiology is going to give us assignment too! I'm waiting for the order from my class representative.
I am so stressed out with my IMT lab work now. Guess what?! I managed to get 2 perfect impressions of my partner out of 3 trying while practicing at home but I can't get one impression, NOT EVEN ONE impression after using about 700grams of alginate! I don't know what is wrong with me I got so stressed out in the lab yesterday. Chun tried taking impression from me too. He had put too much alginate on the impression tray that I almost vomitted in the lab.
I really has got no idea on what is wrong in me. After I had fever that day, I got no appetite at all. Don't feel like eating? Feel a great nausea once the food are in my mouth? Both...! I wanted to go on diet and I planned to take 2 light meals a day, like at least I eat something everyday, not fattening food of course! BUT I know how bad it is to go have eating disorders. I want to be thinner healthily! Like I said before, I'm pretty worried of myself having bulimia nervosa. I don't want to join those models who wanted to go thin, eat alot like normal people in front of others but run into the ladies after the meal, put my finger deep into my throat to force myself throw everything out from my stomach!
It surprised me of my own act yesterday afternoon. I never dared doing it but I did it yesterday. I went to the toilet, put my finger into my thraot and tried to force things out from my stomach but NOTHING came out! I never thought I would do so. I never intend to do so and I really has got no idea why I did it! Perhaps it is because of the alginate that I think I swallowed a little in the lab? or is it really because I am one of those with bulimia nervosa with me?! I don't want myself to get into this condition! But I just don't know why I don't feel like eating at all. After forcing myself that way in the washroom, my throat hurts to the max till now. It is still hurting me! HELP! Is there any way to help me to get my appetite back?
I haven't been eating normally since four days ago. Abnormally in like I only took fillet-o-fish from McD delivery on Tuesday(which created a great nausea in me once I swallow them, I ran to the washroom for quite a while but didn't manage to throw out), a cup of mushroom soup yesterday and today, two piece of pineapples and a little 'ciku' since my friends suggested me to take fruits). Do you think this eating habit of mine is normal or abnormal?
Tagged by Nithia
What was your dream when you were a small kid?
* When I was a small kid? I don’t remember. Hmm… guessed I wanted to go to Japan? Lol.
What was the happiest thing in your whole life?
* Happiest thing will most probably be the student exchange programme to Japan! Woo-hoo~ I miss each and everyone there. They all treated me so nice there. I miss Kato family who turned my name into Kato li-te-inn there lol. Guess what I met my first crush there *blush* wakakaka..
What do you wish to have right now?
* A digital camera myself and a healthy body. I don’t want to be sick again >.<
When was the last time you Hourse Laugh??
* I always did as I’m a loud girl. That was in the past though. I only do that when I’m with my crazy friends in Kuantan. Oh yeaa.. also if I’m with my family where they will then say ‘girl, can u please not laugh that way? You’re scaring others away’ Precisely, I guess what my family told me were right. I never do that again after SPM, not in NS, not in Nirwana College, not to mention life here in Medan. Nobody would laugh like that with me and I bet I’ll look so dumb laughing alone that way =.=
What do you realize recently?
* I lost my appetite these days.
* The guys in my house are getting crazier by days especially when they are gaming
* IMT lab is really stressing me out!
* Hmmm… My exams are really near.
* My eye-sight is getting worse.
Which bad habit of you that is most unacceptable?
* Not punctual and being real sarcastic at times?
When you're unhappy what will you do?
* I’ll talk and share everything with Sik Mei, Hui Yi and Koh Sim last time. Now? I seal my mouth tightly, not uttering a word even a ‘huh’ to anyone.
What are you afraid of losing?
* Papa, mama, my handsome brother and Aunty Joan =)
Within 5 years, which target is the most realistic one?
* 5 years? Back to Malaysia with my BDS! Eh… no no no… should say DDS! I shall get my BDS in another 2 to 3 years time depends to my result. Btw, BDS = Bachelor of Dental Surgeon, DDS = Doctor of Dental Surgeon
When you met someone you like, will you confess or hide your feelings?
* Tough question! I’ve been hiding, in the end, I got nothing. I’ve confessed once and I’ve been rejected =( so, which do you think is better? Teach me~
List out 3 kind of person you hate the most?
* Back-stabber
* Liar
* People who says but never do what they say
Define loneliness
* I’m the worst walking dictionary you should say. Anyway, I think it should be: When I’m alone and there is no one I can talk to, I mean someone trustable =.= someone like papa, mama or my best friends who are working hard for their STPM right now. Good luck darlings~
Are you satisfied with your life now?
* Satisfied I say. I can’t expect more from this damn place. As long as electricity is here 24/7, there are clean water for me, food are not that oily (only can be my dream, they love fats here) and I can go online occasionally, I’m pretty satisfied with my life over here.
When is the most recent time you felt touched?
* When mama is here when I’m down
Where is the most beautiful place that you have visited?
* Nagoya, Japan! I love the people there. Oh yea… Sipiso-piso! The waterfall there is damn nice! It is in Medan.
A song that is playing in your mind recently?
* 阿宅失眠日记 and Piano – I’ve been listening to these songs again and again these days *opps* It’s asking for A song but never mind la… I give another extra answer just for sharing :X
If you have a wish come true, what is it?
* Graduate in 5 years time, fly back to Malaysia as soon as possible, and get a good place for my housemanship!
Do you have anything to worried or scared recently?
* I’m always worried of my results here. I don’t want to stay any longer at this country. I want to get back to my home as soon as possible. Also worried if I got not enough patient during my 52 weeks of clinical year
If the world is going to end, what will you do?
* I’ll make sure my eyes are widely open to see how it looks like. Not many people have the chance living and experiencing the minutes and seconds right before the end of the world wakakaka… I must be proud *crazy me*
Who are you thinking of right now?
* BATO! I miss watching BBT! Lol. Alright, I’ll be serious here, haha… I miss each and everyone in Malaysia so much and thinking of Nithia right now of course! Thank you very much for your long questions and tagged me when you know I just unsubscribed internet at home =D
Tag:
* Hong Thong (I think you’re too free lol)
* Emily (I know you’ll do it for me babe)
* 4 d leng zai =.=’ (you might be busy but do it!)
* When I was a small kid? I don’t remember. Hmm… guessed I wanted to go to Japan? Lol.
What was the happiest thing in your whole life?
* Happiest thing will most probably be the student exchange programme to Japan! Woo-hoo~ I miss each and everyone there. They all treated me so nice there. I miss Kato family who turned my name into Kato li-te-inn there lol. Guess what I met my first crush there *blush* wakakaka..
What do you wish to have right now?
* A digital camera myself and a healthy body. I don’t want to be sick again >.<
When was the last time you Hourse Laugh??
* I always did as I’m a loud girl. That was in the past though. I only do that when I’m with my crazy friends in Kuantan. Oh yeaa.. also if I’m with my family where they will then say ‘girl, can u please not laugh that way? You’re scaring others away’ Precisely, I guess what my family told me were right. I never do that again after SPM, not in NS, not in Nirwana College, not to mention life here in Medan. Nobody would laugh like that with me and I bet I’ll look so dumb laughing alone that way =.=
What do you realize recently?
* I lost my appetite these days.
* The guys in my house are getting crazier by days especially when they are gaming
* IMT lab is really stressing me out!
* Hmmm… My exams are really near.
* My eye-sight is getting worse.
Which bad habit of you that is most unacceptable?
* Not punctual and being real sarcastic at times?
When you're unhappy what will you do?
* I’ll talk and share everything with Sik Mei, Hui Yi and Koh Sim last time. Now? I seal my mouth tightly, not uttering a word even a ‘huh’ to anyone.
What are you afraid of losing?
* Papa, mama, my handsome brother and Aunty Joan =)
Within 5 years, which target is the most realistic one?
* 5 years? Back to Malaysia with my BDS! Eh… no no no… should say DDS! I shall get my BDS in another 2 to 3 years time depends to my result. Btw, BDS = Bachelor of Dental Surgeon, DDS = Doctor of Dental Surgeon
When you met someone you like, will you confess or hide your feelings?
* Tough question! I’ve been hiding, in the end, I got nothing. I’ve confessed once and I’ve been rejected =( so, which do you think is better? Teach me~
List out 3 kind of person you hate the most?
* Back-stabber
* Liar
* People who says but never do what they say
Define loneliness
* I’m the worst walking dictionary you should say. Anyway, I think it should be: When I’m alone and there is no one I can talk to, I mean someone trustable =.= someone like papa, mama or my best friends who are working hard for their STPM right now. Good luck darlings~
Are you satisfied with your life now?
* Satisfied I say. I can’t expect more from this damn place. As long as electricity is here 24/7, there are clean water for me, food are not that oily (only can be my dream, they love fats here) and I can go online occasionally, I’m pretty satisfied with my life over here.
When is the most recent time you felt touched?
* When mama is here when I’m down
Where is the most beautiful place that you have visited?
* Nagoya, Japan! I love the people there. Oh yea… Sipiso-piso! The waterfall there is damn nice! It is in Medan.
A song that is playing in your mind recently?
* 阿宅失眠日记 and Piano – I’ve been listening to these songs again and again these days *opps* It’s asking for A song but never mind la… I give another extra answer just for sharing :X
If you have a wish come true, what is it?
* Graduate in 5 years time, fly back to Malaysia as soon as possible, and get a good place for my housemanship!
Do you have anything to worried or scared recently?
* I’m always worried of my results here. I don’t want to stay any longer at this country. I want to get back to my home as soon as possible. Also worried if I got not enough patient during my 52 weeks of clinical year
If the world is going to end, what will you do?
* I’ll make sure my eyes are widely open to see how it looks like. Not many people have the chance living and experiencing the minutes and seconds right before the end of the world wakakaka… I must be proud *crazy me*
Who are you thinking of right now?
* BATO! I miss watching BBT! Lol. Alright, I’ll be serious here, haha… I miss each and everyone in Malaysia so much and thinking of Nithia right now of course! Thank you very much for your long questions and tagged me when you know I just unsubscribed internet at home =D
Tag:
* Hong Thong (I think you’re too free lol)
* Emily (I know you’ll do it for me babe)
* 4 d leng zai =.=’ (you might be busy but do it!)
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