family vs relationsips

Family will be by our side forever, unlike boyfriend/girlfriend. They both are once equally important to me but not anymore, not because I’m leading my single life right now. It is because I finally realized the difference between the relationship that a family has and the relationship between a boy and a girl. Some said, people in love are blind because LOVE IS BLIND? How long does LOVE last? I see many couples who are so sweet to each other yesterday but today, they changed their relationship status. They are no longer together. Why is that so? Is it because LOVE is a weak thing?

Family is eternity. Some people might not be happy when their family members disagree with what they are doing. Take their words as advice, do not disobey the elders for they have more experience than us =) I always ask my parents for their opinions when I’m in a dilemma because I know they are the one who will be guiding me into the right path. I’m proud having my parents and my little brother. I know how much they love me.

My parents had been very worried of me with the problems I’m facing lately and they had been very supportive as always! All my friends’ curiosities are answered yesterday when I finally changed my relationship status in Facebook. I am fine, everybody, I’m really fine. It happened quite long ago. The reason I didn’t change that is because I need time for myself, before facing you people. Perhaps you care, hence you asked but I really don’t see the necessity in answering your questions. Let bygones be bygones =)

It is all over by now. To those who told me “I don’t understand why you people fall for each other.” I’m telling you now; it is not important why we fall for each other. From time to time, we would have interest in knowing somebody. This is human’s nature. I won’t believe if you said you don’t have any crush before XD Take and keep the sweet memories, throw away and delete the bitter ones. Some said “You are really good in hiding your sadness, we didn’t realize this! And it was so long ago~~ How long exactly that we didn’t bump into each other and talk?!” Well, I know you care but I don’t think I need to hide anything. I believe, there is always sad bitterness behind every sweet smile. So same goes here =)

Life must go on. What had happened, let it be, take it as a life experience which you won’t be afford to buy it again. Appreciate and always keep in mind what you’ve learned. It is useless for you to think of the person who is not worth thinking. It is useless for you to miss a person who is not worth missing. Be tough and do not cry for anyone because the one who worth your tears won’t let you down. Appreciate what you’re having now. Be grateful with what you owned. Life’s like an expedition. There are more to come tomorrow and tomorrow will surely be a better day =)

7th semester in FKG, USU, a boring yet hectic semester

I’m currently in my 4^th year, 7^th semester studies in Medan, which means I had been blogging for the 4^th year. All the posts in this blog of mine are about me, what is happening to me every now and then, my thoughts and a place for me to feel relieved. Why so? I have friends here but I don’t share everything with them. There are some things that I’ll be keeping to myself. A friend of mine who is currently studying in India taught me; when you’re out of your place, do hold the principle of DTA in yourself. To him, DTA stands for DON’T TRUST ANYONE. He said “Li Ting, trust only you yourself for you won’t betray yourself.” Yes, I do think what he told me was right. So, here in this blog, is a place for me to write out what I’m happy with, what is interesting in my life, what is funny, what stressed me out, etc.

I checked both my diary and the posts in this blog and realized I hadn’t been writing since I shifted to this house in Gang Sehat. Again, leading hectic life is the excuse. I’m sorry readers for leaving this blog dead. Some requested me to blog again. Honestly, I really never thought there are quite many friends of mine who read this. I’m surprised. I thought I’m just writing this for fun but I never thought some others tried to know more about me from the way I’m telling craps here. Well, I guess I shall roughly talk about my life since the blog is dead.

I have a bunch of good friends in Medan though Medan is a lonely city for me. This Chinese Indonesians helped me a lot. They cared a lot for me. I’m touched. I don’t get it why some Malaysian Chinese would think the Indonesians are different, perhaps a level lower? But I think they are great people. They are nice, kind, helpful and caring! They are here, by my side when I need help. They are here to cheer me up when I’m down. They are here to hold me up when I dropped. They are here to face problems and solve problems with me. They make me miss my close friends and family in Malaysia because they act like one =)

7^th semester is a semester where we need to be in the general hospital for 6 days, to observe how the doctors are treating patients before we enter our clinical year as co-assistants. 6 days of being a ‘doctor’ in the hospital is fun yet exhausting. It was a great experience there. I got to see many new things where usually I only can see them in pictures on my books. The patients there are mostly of the lower economic class, I pity them when the nurses scolded them. The doctors are good to us, students, also to the patients unlike the nurses who bullied us. One of them made me walk up and down the 3 floors for like 10 times in 15 minutes? I really can lose weight that way! Not only that, she even embarrassed me in front of the patients, scolded me, saying I’m brainless. I think this is very rude and impolite but who cares. I won’t be seeing that lady anymore. That was the first week of my 7^th semester.

Done with Junior clerkship, we’re divided into groups in different departments for thesis. I’m given the Department of Dental Radiology. When I got to know about this, I was happy because most seniors told me it would all end fast but at the same time, how am I supposed to search for topics? I don’t like radiation talks. BUT, be reality, face it, I still need to do it somehow. I’ve proposed about 10 topics when he finally picks one. Drg. Amrin is the lecturer who will be guiding me in thesis writing. On the 4^th week after I proposed my topics, he told me search for some rare disease and now, the title for my thesis would be “Manifestasi Gambaran Radiografis Goldenhar Syndrome pada Rongga Mulut”. I hope I can get things done fast so that I can join the clinical year earlier but I’m just done with my 2^nd chapter now.

Mid Semester is around the corner. I’ll have my first paper on Tuesday and I’m lazy enough not to touch the books till now. I just have no mood to study or do anything. I’m not sure what cause this but I’m trying my best to be my old self again. I prefer my old self, the one who is happy at all times, unlike the lonely me here.

sorrows~~

Can we actually know the way to read others’ minds? I would like to learn to read others’ minds. Perhaps by reading their mind, I won’t be in such a miserable life right now. Perhaps when I can read, when I know more, I might get into worse situation? Do all girls think too much like me? Am I thinking too much or is this normal for a girl? OMG! I think I’m asking too much! I’m still stuck in my Mid Semester Examination. I’ll be having my last paper on Forensic Studies tomorrow morning though and yet I still have time here blogging! Great huh?! Sighs…

There are so many things running in my mind: studies, families, relationship, house shifting, laptop problems and many others! My oh my~~~ can someone please share my burdens with me? Even though they are not heavy burden but I would like to have someone to share them with me =) I think I’m a simple girl. I can get happy very easily; also can be sad very easily. Small stuffs tend to disturb me a lot and because of that, I’ll always why, why, why! Many said I’m complicated. How complicated can I be? I really got no idea. Friends, I think you know me more than myself.

I didn’t study hard enough this semester. I’ve been wasting a lot of my precious time. I said wasting, so I really didn’t know how I wasted them =( Examination for the past week wasn’t really good. I didn’t prepare well for most papers, including today’s Surgery test. See I’m sitting here in front of this screen, typing words, not studying for tomorrow’s test! What can I do? I just can’t concentrate for studies this time. I must really work harder after this exam for my Finals. I can’t fail. I want to graduate earlier to leave this place. Say NO to stay here longer!

I’ll be shifting very soon. 3^rd April, I’ll be shifting and I still haven’t got my things packed. I’ve contacted a few lorry drivers. I don’t know what I call them, to help us shift stuff, by renting their lorry. The prices I asked were quite expensive. Luckily the number Joanne got from Fahimah gave us cheap price but we had not confirmed with that guy about the day we’re shifting. Kelvin told me he can help by using his dad’s car but I think I must confirm with him again if his dad is using that car. I felt I’ve asked too much help from his family. I’m relying on them too much! That’s bad. But many told me that I deserved it because I’m his girlfriend, he should help. I’m not sure about that, I’m afraid others might think I’m with him because I’m using him. I didn’t want that to happen.

The day I’ve been waiting for had finally over. 28^th of March, my first anniversary with Kelvin, I was so worried he would forget the day. He promised to celebrate it with me and I told him I won’t be reminding him so yea, I didn’t remind him and he remembered! I’m happy really! When he called to ask me out for dinner that evening I was so happy I wanted to jump. Alright, you must think I’m crazy. Whatever! So we went out for dinner and… nothing much~~ and it ended up with what I didn’t want to happen. It was a good night at first but not at the end. I’m not sure where the problem is. Perhaps it is me again? Perhaps I don’t trust him enough?

Thanks to this friend of mine who at least still cares for me. I thought this blog would be very long but after chatting with him, I felt a lot better, even though I’m still not sure what is the best solution right now. At least, I feel better =)

a good friend of mine~

I was trying so hard to get my close friend back but too bad he declared to me, he admitted that he is avoiding me all these while and the reason he gave was because he is fear of the feeling might be back again. I wasn’t happy when he told me he is not following my blog anymore. When he told me about it, it somehow made me feel he got no more feelings for me. He really let go of our past. Yea, I should say it is a good thing but I don’t feel easy knowing he doesn’t care even a bit about me anymore. He is a very nice guy I used to like him. In fact, to be honest, I was considering about him because he is really a very nice guy to me. After chatted with him about our past, we had concluded this. We can’t be together because he tried stepping into my life at the wrong time.

My blog is inactive at most time due to the hectic life I’m leading right now. I have no time for my blog. I have no time to share here but I got a habit. When I’m sad, when I’m angry, I’ll type. I used to tell my stories to my best friends last time but now that I’m not in Malaysia, it is difficult. That’s why I started to write a lot. Writing made me feel better at times. It feels like I’ve shared with somebody though I don’t know who the reader is. It was quite surprising that day after I posted my last blog, I received a comment from him telling me to delete off the link to my blog from my Facebook profile since my blog is dead most of the time. Does this mean he is actually still following my blog?

From his personal message in MSN, I think he is facing some problem. Deep in my heart, I knew he won’t share any of his problems with me anymore. I still tried asking him just now. I asked him via MSN chat. He didn’t really told me what is happening as predicted. He told me he has a best friend now. I’m happy for him. At least I know there is a person here, away from our hometown, who still can share his problems with him, reducing his stress. Studying here can be very stressful at times. I’m not sure if he will be reading this post. Here, I wish he’ll lead a better, stress-free life. Care not about the rumours around you ya buddy! Like I told you, people tend to be tired when they see no response or any further progress about the shits they’re spreading. Don’t worry, be happy =)

SPONSORS should be APPRECIATED in the right way

I just gave ZW some scolding because Uncle Jacky had sponsored MCCC Rp. 700.000 for the Auspicious Dinner. BUT what did he get in return? He got nothing! His name wasn’t written in the booklet. His name card was given, telling them to make advertisement in MCCC website but what did he get? Till now, there is nothing in that page of the site! One of the committees in the club gave me reasons saying they’re waiting for Seoul Garden’s sponsor but they FORGOT. They’re so careless they forgot I’m one of the members in MCCC. MCCC will most probably be closed down in July because we’re short of members. Do you think they will still advertise these companies when there is no more MCCC? If you say yes, you’re lying! If the members or the committees say YES, they’re BULLSHITTING! As for the figures of the generous men sponsored being typed wrongly in the booklet, they gave reason saying they were careless they typed wrongly. I was wondering, hasn’t you have another second or third person have the booklet checked before you print them out and be distributed to others in during the dinner? Many names were not written in the booklet as appreciation while some others were written more than the amount they gave. I think this is not fair for the other sponsors.

I don’t like it knowing they’re cheating money for the club this way. What benefit did I get from this club by helping the club getting sponsors? What benefits did the members get? To be frank, I didn’t really ask for benefits myself but it made me feel that they’re using money for themselves which is a wrong thing to do! Supposed, they can’t sponsor members for other dinners this way like what they’re doing because not all members will attend the dinners so it’ll be unfair for those who were not sponsored. Perhaps, the committees might say they open the seats for the members. Those who couldn’t come or didn’t want to attend were telling they have financial problems. BUT ask yourselves, committees! Are the seats opened enough for all members? What if all members want to attend the dinners since the club is paying half of the price? I know, you’ll tell us, seats are limited so first come first serve. Well, another question! When you say first come first serve, why not you announce these offers in a meeting with all members? See, it is always that few people attending and those few people are those who knew the news first! Is this fair for other members? I know nothing is fair in this world but PLEASE don’t make it like you people organized and managed the club well.

I’m sorry I really can’t hold my anger when you gave me reasons and excuses on why the advertisement for the company at the site is not up yet. Perhaps, you’re joking with me. I’m too sensitive. I apologized but again, I still think it is so irresponsible to take others’ money, delay your work, thinking the sponsor won’t check about it. Perhaps, the sponsors really don’t mind about these but think about it. What is the difference between cheating others’ money with what the committees are doing right now? And see… these committees are doctors and dentists-to-be.

Once again, like I've said in my profile description, this is my blog, you don't like it, there's a cross button on the right corner of your screen, click it and you'll leave this page. For the committees who read this coincidence-ly, I apologized for the harsh words I used. This is where I'm sharing my thoughts. Like me, hate me, I don't care.