7th semester in FKG, USU, a boring yet hectic semester

I’m currently in my 4^th year, 7^th semester studies in Medan, which means I had been blogging for the 4^th year. All the posts in this blog of mine are about me, what is happening to me every now and then, my thoughts and a place for me to feel relieved. Why so? I have friends here but I don’t share everything with them. There are some things that I’ll be keeping to myself. A friend of mine who is currently studying in India taught me; when you’re out of your place, do hold the principle of DTA in yourself. To him, DTA stands for DON’T TRUST ANYONE. He said “Li Ting, trust only you yourself for you won’t betray yourself.” Yes, I do think what he told me was right. So, here in this blog, is a place for me to write out what I’m happy with, what is interesting in my life, what is funny, what stressed me out, etc.

I checked both my diary and the posts in this blog and realized I hadn’t been writing since I shifted to this house in Gang Sehat. Again, leading hectic life is the excuse. I’m sorry readers for leaving this blog dead. Some requested me to blog again. Honestly, I really never thought there are quite many friends of mine who read this. I’m surprised. I thought I’m just writing this for fun but I never thought some others tried to know more about me from the way I’m telling craps here. Well, I guess I shall roughly talk about my life since the blog is dead.

I have a bunch of good friends in Medan though Medan is a lonely city for me. This Chinese Indonesians helped me a lot. They cared a lot for me. I’m touched. I don’t get it why some Malaysian Chinese would think the Indonesians are different, perhaps a level lower? But I think they are great people. They are nice, kind, helpful and caring! They are here, by my side when I need help. They are here to cheer me up when I’m down. They are here to hold me up when I dropped. They are here to face problems and solve problems with me. They make me miss my close friends and family in Malaysia because they act like one =)

7^th semester is a semester where we need to be in the general hospital for 6 days, to observe how the doctors are treating patients before we enter our clinical year as co-assistants. 6 days of being a ‘doctor’ in the hospital is fun yet exhausting. It was a great experience there. I got to see many new things where usually I only can see them in pictures on my books. The patients there are mostly of the lower economic class, I pity them when the nurses scolded them. The doctors are good to us, students, also to the patients unlike the nurses who bullied us. One of them made me walk up and down the 3 floors for like 10 times in 15 minutes? I really can lose weight that way! Not only that, she even embarrassed me in front of the patients, scolded me, saying I’m brainless. I think this is very rude and impolite but who cares. I won’t be seeing that lady anymore. That was the first week of my 7^th semester.

Done with Junior clerkship, we’re divided into groups in different departments for thesis. I’m given the Department of Dental Radiology. When I got to know about this, I was happy because most seniors told me it would all end fast but at the same time, how am I supposed to search for topics? I don’t like radiation talks. BUT, be reality, face it, I still need to do it somehow. I’ve proposed about 10 topics when he finally picks one. Drg. Amrin is the lecturer who will be guiding me in thesis writing. On the 4^th week after I proposed my topics, he told me search for some rare disease and now, the title for my thesis would be “Manifestasi Gambaran Radiografis Goldenhar Syndrome pada Rongga Mulut”. I hope I can get things done fast so that I can join the clinical year earlier but I’m just done with my 2^nd chapter now.

Mid Semester is around the corner. I’ll have my first paper on Tuesday and I’m lazy enough not to touch the books till now. I just have no mood to study or do anything. I’m not sure what cause this but I’m trying my best to be my old self again. I prefer my old self, the one who is happy at all times, unlike the lonely me here.

sorrows~~

Can we actually know the way to read others’ minds? I would like to learn to read others’ minds. Perhaps by reading their mind, I won’t be in such a miserable life right now. Perhaps when I can read, when I know more, I might get into worse situation? Do all girls think too much like me? Am I thinking too much or is this normal for a girl? OMG! I think I’m asking too much! I’m still stuck in my Mid Semester Examination. I’ll be having my last paper on Forensic Studies tomorrow morning though and yet I still have time here blogging! Great huh?! Sighs…

There are so many things running in my mind: studies, families, relationship, house shifting, laptop problems and many others! My oh my~~~ can someone please share my burdens with me? Even though they are not heavy burden but I would like to have someone to share them with me =) I think I’m a simple girl. I can get happy very easily; also can be sad very easily. Small stuffs tend to disturb me a lot and because of that, I’ll always why, why, why! Many said I’m complicated. How complicated can I be? I really got no idea. Friends, I think you know me more than myself.

I didn’t study hard enough this semester. I’ve been wasting a lot of my precious time. I said wasting, so I really didn’t know how I wasted them =( Examination for the past week wasn’t really good. I didn’t prepare well for most papers, including today’s Surgery test. See I’m sitting here in front of this screen, typing words, not studying for tomorrow’s test! What can I do? I just can’t concentrate for studies this time. I must really work harder after this exam for my Finals. I can’t fail. I want to graduate earlier to leave this place. Say NO to stay here longer!

I’ll be shifting very soon. 3^rd April, I’ll be shifting and I still haven’t got my things packed. I’ve contacted a few lorry drivers. I don’t know what I call them, to help us shift stuff, by renting their lorry. The prices I asked were quite expensive. Luckily the number Joanne got from Fahimah gave us cheap price but we had not confirmed with that guy about the day we’re shifting. Kelvin told me he can help by using his dad’s car but I think I must confirm with him again if his dad is using that car. I felt I’ve asked too much help from his family. I’m relying on them too much! That’s bad. But many told me that I deserved it because I’m his girlfriend, he should help. I’m not sure about that, I’m afraid others might think I’m with him because I’m using him. I didn’t want that to happen.

The day I’ve been waiting for had finally over. 28^th of March, my first anniversary with Kelvin, I was so worried he would forget the day. He promised to celebrate it with me and I told him I won’t be reminding him so yea, I didn’t remind him and he remembered! I’m happy really! When he called to ask me out for dinner that evening I was so happy I wanted to jump. Alright, you must think I’m crazy. Whatever! So we went out for dinner and… nothing much~~ and it ended up with what I didn’t want to happen. It was a good night at first but not at the end. I’m not sure where the problem is. Perhaps it is me again? Perhaps I don’t trust him enough?

Thanks to this friend of mine who at least still cares for me. I thought this blog would be very long but after chatting with him, I felt a lot better, even though I’m still not sure what is the best solution right now. At least, I feel better =)

a good friend of mine~

I was trying so hard to get my close friend back but too bad he declared to me, he admitted that he is avoiding me all these while and the reason he gave was because he is fear of the feeling might be back again. I wasn’t happy when he told me he is not following my blog anymore. When he told me about it, it somehow made me feel he got no more feelings for me. He really let go of our past. Yea, I should say it is a good thing but I don’t feel easy knowing he doesn’t care even a bit about me anymore. He is a very nice guy I used to like him. In fact, to be honest, I was considering about him because he is really a very nice guy to me. After chatted with him about our past, we had concluded this. We can’t be together because he tried stepping into my life at the wrong time.

My blog is inactive at most time due to the hectic life I’m leading right now. I have no time for my blog. I have no time to share here but I got a habit. When I’m sad, when I’m angry, I’ll type. I used to tell my stories to my best friends last time but now that I’m not in Malaysia, it is difficult. That’s why I started to write a lot. Writing made me feel better at times. It feels like I’ve shared with somebody though I don’t know who the reader is. It was quite surprising that day after I posted my last blog, I received a comment from him telling me to delete off the link to my blog from my Facebook profile since my blog is dead most of the time. Does this mean he is actually still following my blog?

From his personal message in MSN, I think he is facing some problem. Deep in my heart, I knew he won’t share any of his problems with me anymore. I still tried asking him just now. I asked him via MSN chat. He didn’t really told me what is happening as predicted. He told me he has a best friend now. I’m happy for him. At least I know there is a person here, away from our hometown, who still can share his problems with him, reducing his stress. Studying here can be very stressful at times. I’m not sure if he will be reading this post. Here, I wish he’ll lead a better, stress-free life. Care not about the rumours around you ya buddy! Like I told you, people tend to be tired when they see no response or any further progress about the shits they’re spreading. Don’t worry, be happy =)

SPONSORS should be APPRECIATED in the right way

I just gave ZW some scolding because Uncle Jacky had sponsored MCCC Rp. 700.000 for the Auspicious Dinner. BUT what did he get in return? He got nothing! His name wasn’t written in the booklet. His name card was given, telling them to make advertisement in MCCC website but what did he get? Till now, there is nothing in that page of the site! One of the committees in the club gave me reasons saying they’re waiting for Seoul Garden’s sponsor but they FORGOT. They’re so careless they forgot I’m one of the members in MCCC. MCCC will most probably be closed down in July because we’re short of members. Do you think they will still advertise these companies when there is no more MCCC? If you say yes, you’re lying! If the members or the committees say YES, they’re BULLSHITTING! As for the figures of the generous men sponsored being typed wrongly in the booklet, they gave reason saying they were careless they typed wrongly. I was wondering, hasn’t you have another second or third person have the booklet checked before you print them out and be distributed to others in during the dinner? Many names were not written in the booklet as appreciation while some others were written more than the amount they gave. I think this is not fair for the other sponsors.

I don’t like it knowing they’re cheating money for the club this way. What benefit did I get from this club by helping the club getting sponsors? What benefits did the members get? To be frank, I didn’t really ask for benefits myself but it made me feel that they’re using money for themselves which is a wrong thing to do! Supposed, they can’t sponsor members for other dinners this way like what they’re doing because not all members will attend the dinners so it’ll be unfair for those who were not sponsored. Perhaps, the committees might say they open the seats for the members. Those who couldn’t come or didn’t want to attend were telling they have financial problems. BUT ask yourselves, committees! Are the seats opened enough for all members? What if all members want to attend the dinners since the club is paying half of the price? I know, you’ll tell us, seats are limited so first come first serve. Well, another question! When you say first come first serve, why not you announce these offers in a meeting with all members? See, it is always that few people attending and those few people are those who knew the news first! Is this fair for other members? I know nothing is fair in this world but PLEASE don’t make it like you people organized and managed the club well.

I’m sorry I really can’t hold my anger when you gave me reasons and excuses on why the advertisement for the company at the site is not up yet. Perhaps, you’re joking with me. I’m too sensitive. I apologized but again, I still think it is so irresponsible to take others’ money, delay your work, thinking the sponsor won’t check about it. Perhaps, the sponsors really don’t mind about these but think about it. What is the difference between cheating others’ money with what the committees are doing right now? And see… these committees are doctors and dentists-to-be.

Once again, like I've said in my profile description, this is my blog, you don't like it, there's a cross button on the right corner of your screen, click it and you'll leave this page. For the committees who read this coincidence-ly, I apologized for the harsh words I used. This is where I'm sharing my thoughts. Like me, hate me, I don't care.

What is FAMILY?

LOL u people might think I'm having some problem in me, defining all the words here in the blog. No worries, I won't make my blog a dictionary XD What is FAMILY? That was the title for my brother's recent blog. I'm touched reading that blog of his and somehow, by reading his blogs, I'm having terrible homesick! It is Chinese New Year today! How I wished I could fly back to celebrate it with them. Too bad, we don't have holiday here at this dumb place =.=! Guess what, I even have my Full Denture practical on the 2nd day of CNY =(

Why not just face the fact since I can't go home? My plan for CNY? Frankly speaking, no plan! I'm still not sure I'm going to have it with who. I miss my family so much. Whenever we gather, my grandma will cook good food for us. I don't mean she doesn't cook good food for normal days but on special events, she'll cook dishes which everyone loves! Aww man~~ I miss popo so much~~ I must give her a call tomorrow! Opps~~ no credit! =P yea, like my brother wrote in his blog, we're closer with my mother's family compared to my dad's family. I wonder why it is so...

I don't get it why we can be good with mama's family but it turned out so differently when it comes to papa's family. Ever since I'm back from Japan, I talk a lot. I mean it! It's A LOT! Sometimes I don't even know how I can talk so much =.=" I tried talking to them (my aunts and cousins) somehow it felt more like a stranger than a family. All we do is just saying hi and that's the end of the story. I'll only be back to Malaysia twice a year so I thought when I'm home, I should meet these relatives as a respect to them, to stay connected. It is funny to know, I always hope my brother would follow me there to meet them because of the fear of loneliness.

It was so cool, in like, I'll be there meeting my grandparents and then I'll be home after answering some questions. It felt like a routine as everything happened the same way everytime I meet them. This family is so big I don't recognized all the kids. In other words, my cousins. There were too many of them! I really can't recognized them. Well, I thought kids should know me but in fact, at times, I do face problems where these kids came to me and ask "Who are you?" Their parents would feel embarrassed for this, quickly explaining to them who I am. Well, I can't blame them. I'm staying here in this boring town for more than two years already.

Can imagine how cool is this family? Sighs... What is family to you? Family is a group of people who are very close to me. They know me. They understand me. They love me =) I'm proud with my parents though when I was younger, I don't very much like the way they're controlling me. Perhaps, rebellious period of a teenager? We call each other very often on the days I'm not by their side. I can say we'll be talking on the phone on the average of twice a week. Yea, I spent a lot on phone bills. I tell them everything and they're good listener. In fact, I think our relations are closer now. Maybe because I was still young, the reason they don't share a lot with us? Now, they talk to us about everything.

I remembered how they told me they felt guilty because I wasn't throwing a party for my 21st birthday. I always wanted to have a birthday party at home, inviting my friends to my house. They promised me to make a big one on my 21st. Too bad, my friends are not around my hometown that moment. I told them it is okay for me but they felt guilty not fulfilling their promise. I know they tried very hard to make me happy that day and I was VERY happy. Aunty Joan came back from KL to celebrate it with me. Aunty Cheng and her family was there too!

We took a numbers of photos and there were few where papa and mama like most! They chose that picture as their wallpaper =.=



and below this is me on my birthday. New haircut by Evon =) but it is now long and I really need her here badly.


I'm sorry I just post this up. I didn't realized it wasn't posted.

What is L.O.V.E

What is love? I guess no one can give you the definition for the word love. Once, I was chatting with a friend and he was asking "why don't we have a handbook teaching us how to handle our relationship? How nice it is if we have a theory book that way, when we have problems in relation, we can find solution in the book." I don't know if this is a brilliant idea or should I laugh at this. Then I asked these mentioned by my friend to another friend of mine and he said "CRAZY! If there is a handbook for love, then it is not love! You have to feel love yourself."

Still, the question here is what is love? Do we feel very happy when we're in love? or do we suffer at times for love? Is love a sacrifice? Is love the best thing in the world? I guess it all depends to your other half =) Will you be proud of your bf/gf? Will you want everybody to know by telling "HEY! This is my bf/gf!" IF there is a partner of yours whom didn't want his/her friends to know about you, what is the reason of these? Is it because you're not good enough or you're embarrassing him? Why are there people who are so proud of their partners but some others are hiding?

Sighs... how do we know if that guy/girl is the right person for us? Love is so complicated.

Valentine's Day 2010 gift preparation

It’s February and Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. One of the most important eagerly awaited parts of the Valentine's Day is the romantic gift that one receives from their lover. What nice gift ideas are left for that special guy of yours? Like many other girls, I'll be preparing gift for my special one but till now, I still got no idea what to do. I bought cooking chocolate, planned to make him some chocolates with some designs on it, though I won't be celebrating this special day with him. Most of my friends asked "How come you're not celebrating?" Most of them are shocked knowing we're not celebrating.

My boyfriend reminds me from time to time, that I need to be understanding. I learn to be understanding from him =) Too bad, Valentine's Day 2010 falls on the first day of the Chinese New Year. He is not of the same nationality with me. He is an Indonesian. I believe I mentioned a couple of times about him in my blog already. He is a Chinese so no doubt he has to be with his family, visiting relatives on the first day of Chinese New Year. That's the tradition. I don't mind we don't celebrate on that day.

Well, preparing gift for him is cracking my head. I've been thinking what to do. I bought these chocolates, only then I knew it is not an easy job =.=! and I ain't have much time and I don't have the proper utensils to cook it! But, I'll still try my best to work it out. Perhaps I'll try making some tomorrow. Wish me luck peeps! Besides giving chocolates, I plan to buy him something. Initially, I thought of buying a pair of couple tee for us both but I can't find something nice here. Yea, I'm quite PICKY at times.

I thought of making some short love notes and put at somewhere he can read it but where can I hide them? His wallet? He never let me touch it. His book? They were all kept in his room and I don't go to his room as it is on the 3rd floor =.= I only have one of his books with me right now. I guess I can't make this. Another idea is, perhaps I should write down my wish and put it in a bottle? It's like message in a bottle! But I do think empty bottle is DULL. What do I do with the bottle? What do I insert into that bottle or how do I decorate that bottle? I only got 12 days left OMG! Or should I just make love coupons and put them in this bottle?

I'll still think about it because finding a nice bottle is another problem sighs. Have you decided what to prepare for your loved ones? How would you celebrate your Valentine's Day this year? Appreciate your loved ones, show him/her how much you care on this very day! But I believe, everyday is Valentine's Day if you really appreciate your other half =)

TOO MUCH of assignments =(

aww man!! When can I have my holiday again? How I wished everyday is Sunday then I won't be having classes or practical! In my current 6th semester, I'll have 15 hours of practical a week and 18 hours of lessons a week. Yea, for the moment, that's it. I'll confirm with my other friends in the regular class tomorrow about General Radiology class's timetable again then I'll register all over again and trust me, I'll have more hours for lessons a week by that time. SAVE ME!!!

The lecturers are treating us like we're robots! We're doing things nonstop. When and how can I have a good handwork? I'm doing things too slowly! I'm afraid if this continues, I won't be able to catch up with the others. OMG! Please do not tell me I won't be able to finish up things in time! I need rest! I need holiday!

Luck's not at my side. Why is the Valentine's Day this year falls on the first day of CNY? Why does this happen when I finally get a partner to celebrate it with me? Sighs. I was so sad reading the message sent to me by him telling he can't celebrate it with me on the 14th of February but he promised to celebrate it with me on the other day in order to replace this. I still wasn't happy! We're always busy and we seldom meet each other. I'm jealous. I envied those couples who gets to be together 24/7. I don't ask for meeting every minute but at least more often than we are now. Meeting once a week, it feels like I'm having long distance relationship =(

blurrr...

guess what!! It was so long since I last posted a thing here. It was so hectic last semester hence no time for a post here. Trust me, this semester is busier but I just thought of this blog suddenly, the reason checking out this dead blog. I guess nobody is going to read this blog anymore. Nobody is so free perhaps? Whatever it is... funny thing happened on my try to get to log in to this blog of mine and reckon I should share it here =)

I never thought I have this bad memory and yea... my memory and my English speaking skills are getting worse. If you're checking on every of my blog, I guess you can see the changes in the way I'm typing, worse English now. I was trying to log in here but I forgot the password. So I clicked on the 'forgot my password' link... It brought me into these thing for me to fill up. So in the end, they sent an email to my hotmail and guess what?! Only then I realized I even got my username wrongly OMG!!! Anyway, thank GOD they have this forgot password thingy or else I guess I really won't be able to log into this blog again =)

I'm in my 6th semester right now and it just started few days back and I'm like half dead right now. Tonnes of assignments awaiting!!! I never thought practical have assignments too! First time in my life seriously. I'm always slow in my hand work and my hand work isn't good. I'm trying my very best to do my best in my practical. Hopefully I can pass this semester with lesser obstacles compared to last semester. I'm not as lucky as I used to be already. I didn't get the lecturer I hoped I would get. Second day of my lessons, I got back-stabbed! What to do... Leaving alone outside of my homeland, I really have to depend to myself.

As for my relations, I'm still with Kelvin. Yea... We had a lot of arguments last semester and we are good now. Wished this good relation will stay =) Today is our 10th months anniversary. I'm always the Jealousy Queen so no doubt I'll still bring up things at times. Kelvin is good in his patience and explanations nowadays. He knows I would like him to explain things I don't understand. My parents finally knew about our relationship. They accepted him =) and I bet you all will laugh at me like how my best friend, Sik Mei did if you know the way I talked to them and the way they responded especially papa! My dad always give funny responses LOL. I don't mind if Kelvin doesn't celebrate all these monthly anniversary with me since we are both busy with papers and books but I made him promised me to celebrate our first year anniversary together. Hopefully he won't forget his promise and disappoint me ^^ I've planned what to give him on our first year anniversary. Valentine's comes first and I really got no idea what to prepare! Help me people!!!