Missing HOME

I feel very sad today. The longer I’m staying at this place, the more I feel I’m lonely. I don’t want my family to know that I felt this way all these while because I don’t want them to be worry of me. Thank god I managed to hold myself from crying that night, the night before I came to Medan when I was chatting with my aunt in the room. I want to stay with my family all the time. I want all my friends. Here, I felt that I have no friends at all. Why am I stuck at this situation?

I hate it when it comes to gathering exactly like what happened in the BBQ session just now. I felt like I got no one to talk to here in this damn place. I wanted to message my friend but too bad I understand my friends won’t have that much credit to chat with me so instead of messaging them, I sat quietly all the while watching the others gambling. You might suggest me to join them gamble exactly like what Danny suggested but too bad I don’t know all these gambling games. What else can I do in order to make myself happier living here by myself? I’ve been thinking for more than a year about this question and yet, I still find no answer. GOD! Help me~

Perhaps this is a good way to push myself to study harder? Thinking of all these unhappy things, I would eventually tell myself to work harder so that I can graduate faster. With an earlier graduation, I can go home earlier! At least, if my friends are all too busy to spend time with me, I still have my family who would be there for me always! Medan is really a good place speaking of it. Living here, I’ve learnt to love my family more. I admit I don’t love my family as much. I won’t have homesick last time no matter how far I am from my family but now, I’m thinking of everyone at home every single day.