Am I the one who is dreaming all these while? Everybody moves but not me. Lately, I found out, I was being left alone in the lala-land~ Its lonely and I don't like the feeling being alone there!
I always thought I might still have chance with this guy, but it is not true. Do we call this loyal or should I say I'm dreaming all these while? Dreaming of things which won't happen again! I had liked a few guys in life. Come to think of it, none of them having good endings wih me. Is it because I'm too picky or are they not the right guy for me yet because my Mr RIGHT will soon appear in my life? But how soon will it be?!
Say me desperate I don't care. That is all because I feel so lonely here I got nobody to talk to. Friends I have here is so different from those I have in Kuantan whom I can talk to them about everything. People here made me feel that they're selfish and they're total gossippers. I don't think I can trust them. Well, this sounded so like Li Ting who doesn't trust people easily.
This is one of the problems in me. I can't be with a guy because I don't trust them easily. Once the guy leaves me, I'll regret why I don't trust him. Why must I be that stubborn?! I don't understand myself at all. Is it really that hard to find a guy who loves us and of course, we love him alot at the same time? Why must it be that hard? Many said I'm very picky and so they advised me not to be that picky in choosing boyfriends.
Sometimes when I'm really bored, I tend to think myself, how does my boyfriend-to-be look? How tall is he? What course is he taking or is he already working? Does he has a pair of specs with him? Is he tanned or fair? Well, I hoped he is not that fair, I prefer sunshine boys *giggles* Where is he right now?
I'm glad to know most of my friends already found their other halves lately. These includes the shocking news from K and R. K said he didn't dare to tell me he already got a girlfriend right now because he is afraid that once I knew it, I won't go out with him anymore, won't let him kisses and hugs me again. I admit I was wrong last time. I shouldn't hugged and kissed him when we're not couple. Now that I know he already got a girlfriend, I won't let him hug or kiss me anymore. I don't want the same thing to happen again.
According to my best friends, all the guys who were courting me are all bad guys EXCEPT for Karlson because the others flirt alot and are not honest to me. How true is it? I don't know. In fact, nobody knows! When I think they are honest to me, they are actually NOT. When I think they are not honest, they actually ARE! Gosh~ I'm tired of all these. Tired of thinking hard, tired of guessing, tired of judging, tired of listening to explanations, tired of rumours, tired of gossips, tired of answering questions... I'm really tired of relationships. I already didn't know how to differentiate on which is good which is bad, which is right which is wrong anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment