When SHE says goodbye

I woke up with a so-so feeling. As usual, after preparing myself, I head out to campus for work, wondering what patient I’ll face on the day. On the way, the aunty sitting in front of me in that public transport cried after receiving a call. I started thinking at that very moment, “what kind of news can bring sorrows like that? Death?” then I told myself not to have such negative thinking in the morning. I was walking to my faculty from the 2^nd gate of my university which was right opposite the newly built teaching hospital when I received an ‘unknown’ call. It was 8.10AM Medan time on the 10^th of September 2011. Reading the word ‘unknown’, I thought it was a call from either my Indian friends (they love hiding their numbers) or my patients. No, I got my guess wrongly.

That was my mother’s voice on the phone. It was a call from family. It was a call telling me my grandma has left and gone to a better world. My mind suddenly went blank. It was nothing in my mind. I couldn’t think. I sat alone outside the department, away from my co-ass mates with my watery eyes. One of them who came late, saw me there and asked “Li Ting, why are you looking so sad today? Cheer up!” I replied “my grandma passed away this morning.” I don’t know how else to answer the question asked. I went meeting the head of department to talk to him about this to get permission for being absent a few days in the clinic. He was very nice. I bought ticket to fly home that night itself.

My grandmother was diagnosed lung cancer stage 4 about 2 months back. We didn’t know she was sick until one day she complained chest pain. We thought it might be something wrong with her heart. We sent her to the hospital for further check up and the doctor got an X-ray of her thorax. Only then, we knew it was something wrong with her lung. It continued with bronchoscopy and CT scan. There were a few other tests done, which in the end a neurologist called up my family members to have an appointment to meet up on the 8^th of August. Anyway, the neurologist in charge didn’t show up. In fact, a young doctor came to talk to my family. She told nothing much, just the fact that, it’s lung cancer, stage 4, metastasis to the brain thus operation can’t be done, so do chemotherapy. Only medications like analgesic and anti-inflammation will be given to reduce pain and swell. That’s all.

My brother tried to ask more since the others in the family can’t speak fluent English, but the doctor said she is just a doctor from the pulmo department. So my brother opened up the file and read the report himself to try to understand more. It was written short and précised “brain has mets. Opportunity of life for more than 3 months is very low. Family has been informed and they accepted.” I guess that’s the informed consent? I’m not so sure. I’m sad knowing about this news, about the bad prognosis.

I felt bad because I didn’t get to meet her ever since she’s sick. I stayed up on the night I was home for the funeral. I talked to my aunties and grandfather. They told me a lot about what had happened these few months. I cried the moment I saw my grandfather’s sorrow face. He told me “don’t worry. She went away well. She was glad that all her children and grandchildren cared so much for her. All she wished was this family to stay happy.”

once upon a time...

It’s time to pay my tuition fee for new semester. It’s my 9^th semester already can you believe it? I just checked my pictures in my laptop and found some old photos, memorable ones. I don’t think we can take photos like this anymore now. Most of us are separated. We don't live together already. We don't go to campus together already. We are not doing many things together now already.

First semester, we went to campus together by van provided by our agents. Of course, we already paid the transportation fee even before we came here for studies. 

This was taken after exam.
Examination attire: black & white

I remembered how much everyone complaint about this university, including myself. The boys got to bald themselves for orientation week. Some guys escaped by saying ‘I’m a Punjabee I can’t cut my hair’. 

One of the pillars in my university.

Biochemical Laboratorium

We attended practicals in lab together. Those were the time where we all lived under the same roof, in a hostel. It was fun! FUN is like, we really enjoyed ourselves. We were so young and energized that time. We played crazily like small kids when we gathered. I remembered how we celebrated each and everyone’s birthday. Whenever somebody’s birthday is near, we will start keeping eggs till it stinks. Some others would go look for CHEAP birthday cake and bought extra cream to add on top of the cake. 

Mixture of margarine and cream on a CHEAP cake.
Of course, we prepared another birthday cake for him.

Splashes of water on him from upstairs.
Note that we kept dirty water with cockroaches in the bin right next to him.

Some guys would prepare dirty water with dead cockroaches in it. Won’t you escape these tricks? Not to forget the flours! We threw flours too! We won’t stop running and hunting until the security guard scolded us. There was once the guard got so angry he locked the water supply to our rooms so that we couldn't wash ourselves =.=! but our men are smart! They would secretly go unlock it! XD

Second semester of studies, we, Malaysian Chinese in Medan decided to organize a dinner. We worked together, we looked for sponsors together, we sold tickets together, we practiced for performances together, we prepared gifts and souvenirs together! We divided jobs well. 

Our break dance coach.

Modern dance choreographed by Lorna Ting.

I’m not good in dancing but I joined them. I attended 3 dinners that semester and I was the master of ceremony for 2 of the dinners.

2 of the MCs in the dinner organized by Malaysian Chinese Cultural Club

sang with my senior, Terecia (just graduated as a dentist) in the dinner organized by Dental Student Committee

Third semester, we all shifted out. We rented house since the hostel was meant for the first years. I lived with all the dentistry Malaysian Chinese students. They are helpful. We study and do things together. Juniors are here. We ‘bullied’ them. I remembered how one of the guy juniors was asked to dance. It’s easy to recognize who are the juniors, who are the seniors. Spot for the botaks they’re the juniors!

We have no other family here in Medan. We celebrated Mid Autumn Festival together. We had games. We chose the most popular seniors of the year.

Johnathan Lin and Li Ting

We chose a colour as our theme and everyone must wear that colour. Those who didn’t will end up like this.

Forth semester, we organized a bigger Chinese New Year Auspicious Dinner! We had around 600 guests. We had improved from the previous dinner. This time, we invited magicians. We rented a grand piano.

Piano duet by Li Ting and Zheng Kang.

Masters of Ceremony of the night.

It was the first time I present myself to campus activity. It was Sports Day in the Faculty of Dentistry. I only went for the bazaar on the closing ceremony =P

Penutupan Porseni
Li Ting's classmates (2007 class)

There was once a photographer came and asked me and a few friends for a photo. I thought he was one of the crews working on my university’s website. Few months later, I got to know that he was actually hired by an agency, to promote this university in Malaysia.

P.S. I didn't come under this agency =.=!
This photo is up in the newspaper lately =P

Fifth semester, we went to Air Terjun 2 Warna together. It took us 3 hours to the waterfall and another 3 hours to get out from the place. Exhausting but it’s all worth!

I was shivering when we captured this.

 It seems to us like the Malaysian Chinese in this town has got nothing else better to do. This semester we organized a gathering for ourselves and we named this gathering “Just For Fun (JFF) Awards Dinner”. Guess what award I got? Best Dressed! We chose these according to votes.

I was asked to help the dental supplier from Beijing as a translator in the 4^th Regional Dental Meeting and Exhibition in Medan.

Alex (dental supplier from Beijing), Albert, Li Ting, Zheng Kang

Sixth semester, it was hectic yet happening! I didn’t go home for Chinese New Year because I only have a day for holiday. I never dare to skip classes because I had a lot of practical that semester. This Chinese New Year is the second CNY I visited the temple at 12AM sharp! Perhaps I was a little too greedy. My 2^nd wish didn’t come true. Perhaps it is all FATE? We will always meet the wrong one before we get to find the right one.

Wrote my wish down on a paper provided by the temple and hung it on the tree.
Not all my wishes came true but most importantly, my 1st and 3rd wish came true ^.<

we gambled!

 My friends and me went to Tuk-tuk. It was my 3^rd time to Lake Toba. It was way more FUN than the previous time maybe because we wandered around and explored the island together. This was the first time I rode on a motorcycle for 1.5 hours just for a hot spring! And guess what, we stayed at the hot spring for less than 15 minutes!

outside the hot spring

boys at the hot spring

I joined the seniors for odd job at a place named Bukit Lawang. I learned a lot here. 2 days 1 trip here was quite exhausting. The bus broke down so we waited till night for them to repair the bus to fetch us back to Medan.

Seventh semester, it started with Junior Clerkship where we went for duty at a hospital for a week. It is the semester I did my thesis. I rushed my work every day. I was lucky getting a very nice and helpful lecturer to guide me. Mid Autumn Festival this year had blue colour as its theme instead of pink and red for the previous years. Blue LOOKED GOOD too!

I attended another odd job, in an Islamic school. This was different from the previous odd job because we only deal with kids here. It’s more to pediatric dentistry.

I'm as tall as the kids =P

Due to the registration for my graduation as a scholar, I stayed in Medan in December instead of going home. I helped my junior to take care of his hamsters but one of them died. I felt so guilty. I buried it outside my house.

Eighth semester was a challenging one. This was my first time celebrating my birthday in Medan. My Malaysian friends here gave me surprised ‘knock on the door’ at 12AM sharp. I opened the door and saw this cake with candle lit on it with balloons all around BUT with nobody! Then they suddenly just ‘hello-ed’ me =.=! My family came for my convocation. I was very happy that day. My hard work was paid. I managed to get my academic years shorten by 6 months!

Then I entered clinical life. It’s like working life. Difference is that, we spend instead of earning here. I couldn’t believe I’m now in my 4^th department already and I have only 3 departments LEFT! I celebrated Chinese New Year here again where I went for 2 reunion dinner. I think I’m closer with my juniors comparing with my batchmates. They’re like my family here. Never look down on these boys. They all professional chef!

reunion dinner with my batchmates

reunion dinner with my Medan family.

Medan flood on the April fool where I thought my friends were fooling me. I went out and was stuck out there for 12 hours.

entrance of my faculty

Juniors asked me to join a Buddhism event. I joined for the first time and loved it very much. Not the event, I only loved the last part where we lit up lantern with our wishes on it.

I had my 4^th trip to Lake Toba! This time is a little different. It was a sudden plan. It was an adventure. Life of a co-assistant is full of excitement and stress. It all depends to how we respond to what is happening around us.

What will happen in this ninth semester? There were a few things I’m expecting. My friends and I had discussed about the coming orientation for new students. Every year around this time, the seniors will be so excited, thinking of ways to ‘bully’ the juniors. I’ll start extracting teeth next week. Hopefully everything goes well. 

North Sumatra University Hospital

Finally, something we should be proud of about my university. A teaching hospital is built. It was said to start operating early next year. Guess what! The North Sumatra University Hospital is the biggest teaching hospital in Indonesia. It’s looking good from the outside and I loved the color they chose for the hospital! No one had entered and take a look in the hospital yet except for the workers since it’s still under construction. They had been telling us about building this hospital since I was here in my first semester. Now I’m in my 8^th semester already. Sadly, I won’t have the chance to use it. Juniors are lucky but pity them at the same time. Their tuition fee had been raised to quite a big number due to this teaching hospital.

What does a GIRL want from her LOVED ONES in a relationship?

What does a girl want from her loved ones in a relationship? I’ve read back the post I scribbled months ago about 10 DON’Ts when you’re breaking up. So it reminds me of this, scribbling something about relationship about what exactly a girl wants from a relationship. Guys, girls are not complicated creature like you imagined. We’re just as complicated as you =) So, what does a girl want from her loved ones in a relationship?

1.       Love

2.       Care

3.       Faith

4.       Communication

5.       Understanding

6.       Toleration

7.       Maturity

8.       Responsibility

9.       Loyalty

10.   Time