I
woke up with a so-so feeling. As usual, after preparing myself, I head out to
campus for work, wondering what patient I’ll face on the day. On the way, the
aunty sitting in front of me in that public transport cried after receiving a
call. I started thinking at that very moment, “what kind of news can bring
sorrows like that? Death?” then I told myself not to have such negative
thinking in the morning. I was walking to my faculty from the 2nd
gate of my university which was right opposite the newly built teaching
hospital when I received an ‘unknown’ call. It was 8.10AM Medan time on the 10th
of September 2011. Reading the word ‘unknown’, I thought it was a call from
either my Indian friends (they love hiding their numbers) or my patients. No, I
got my guess wrongly.
That
was my mother’s voice on the phone. It was a call from family. It was a call
telling me my grandma has left and gone to a better world. My mind suddenly
went blank. It was nothing in my mind. I couldn’t think. I sat alone outside
the department, away from my co-ass mates with my watery eyes. One of them who
came late, saw me there and asked “Li Ting, why are you looking so sad today?
Cheer up!” I replied “my grandma passed away this morning.” I don’t know how
else to answer the question asked. I went meeting the head of department to
talk to him about this to get permission for being absent a few days in the
clinic. He was very nice. I bought ticket to fly home that night itself.
My
grandmother was diagnosed lung cancer stage 4 about 2 months back. We didn’t
know she was sick until one day she complained chest pain. We thought it might
be something wrong with her heart. We sent her to the hospital for further check
up and the doctor got an X-ray of her thorax. Only then, we knew it was
something wrong with her lung. It continued with bronchoscopy and CT scan.
There were a few other tests done, which in the end a neurologist called up my
family members to have an appointment to meet up on the 8th of
August. Anyway, the neurologist in charge didn’t show up. In fact, a young
doctor came to talk to my family. She told nothing much, just the fact that,
it’s lung cancer, stage 4, metastasis to the brain thus operation can’t be
done, so do chemotherapy. Only medications like analgesic and anti-inflammation
will be given to reduce pain and swell. That’s all.
My
brother tried to ask more since the others in the family can’t speak fluent
English, but the doctor said she is just a doctor from the pulmo department. So
my brother opened up the file and read the report himself to try to understand
more. It was written short and précised “brain has mets. Opportunity of life
for more than 3 months is very low. Family has been informed and they
accepted.” I guess that’s the informed consent? I’m not so sure. I’m sad
knowing about this news, about the bad prognosis.
I felt
bad because I didn’t get to meet her ever since she’s sick. I stayed up on the
night I was home for the funeral. I talked to my aunties and grandfather. They
told me a lot about what had happened these few months. I cried the moment I saw
my grandfather’s sorrow face. He told me “don’t worry. She went away well. She
was glad that all her children and grandchildren cared so much for her. All she
wished was this family to stay happy.”
